


Ad Astra Per Aspera (To the stars through difficulties)

by AlexDoesFanfic



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Anxiety Attacks, Break Up, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, High School, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-02-12 21:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21483070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexDoesFanfic/pseuds/AlexDoesFanfic
Summary: Virgil is a guarded student with no friends and far too many enemies. Logan is an uptight student with tunnel vision, who only cares about his studies. Roman is a popular member of the football team with secrets and too many friends. Patton is a new student, who met all three boys and has now made it his mission to make them friends and to makes sure they all know that:Despite the difficulties we individually go through, we can help others with theirs.(THIS IS REALLY SAD BUT EVENTUALLY GETS HAPPY I PROMISE.)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 107
Kudos: 159





	1. Virgil Edwards

Soft tweeting filtered in through the closed windows of a small bedroom in an equally small town, the sun glimmering through the cracked curtains and wind rushing by. Along with the call of birds, a quiet, mechanical beeping bounced off of the thin walls. Virgil groaned and rolled over stiffly, his caramel bed sheets folding around his body and falling off of one of his shoulders. He slapped aimlessly at his bedside table to turn off the alarm on his phone that was far too loud for his very sensitive ears. The ringing stopped and Virgil was at peace for half a second until his mind was consumed by the sudden silence that covered the room. 

Virgil gingerly grasped at his side and winced, the bruise that was slowly forming there felt much more tender than when he fell asleep last night. He sat up carefully and lifted his oversized shirt slightly, his fingers trembling. Virgil traced the purple and green marking across his stomach and pulled back every time it hurt too much. Which was every two seconds. He knew he should probably get it professionally looked at, but that opened the door for questions that Virgil didn't feel safe to answer at the moment.

The young boy let his shirt drop back down over his stomach and cautiously leaned over to pull his phone off of the table and pull the charging cable out of the phone. He stared blearily at its cracked and dull screen for a moment, getting lost in the black void. The second that Virgil pushed the on button he regretted it, squinting and moving his phone away from his face as he was hit with the bright glare that he was definitely not prepared for. Once his eyes had adjusted to the light intrusion, Virgil swiped the screen to unlock it and checked for any sign of.. anything, really.

No new messages. No missed calls. Nothing. The teen wasn't surprised, he didn't really have anyone that would need to contact him for any reason. Why would anyone want to call a loser like himself? Virgil struggled to read the time through the cracks in the screen and eventually saw that it was 6:42AM. Shit. Not good. Virgil still had to find clean clothes and get changed, get out of the house, and walk the 35 minute walk to school safely. He was definitely, without a doubt, going to be late.

The young man sighed and stood up on his shaky legs, his cover falling off of his body and landing in a heap on his bed. Virgil braced himself on the nightstand and placed his phone back down, opening the draw of the stand and routing around for his headphones that he was sure he was going to need. Once he had successfully found his headphones and placed them with his phone, Virgil quietly searched around for some clothes to wear that had been washed at least once this week. He rifled through a pile on the floor and checked the wardrobe, but in the end he chose his usual outfit that was thrown haphazardly over a chair.

His usual outfit consisted of a simple,plain, but faded, purple t-shirt that had little holes scattered around the neck. A pair of clean-ish, black and ripped, skinny jeans that were a struggle to pull up his thighs but hugged his hips comfortably when on. And of course, his trusted black hoodie that he had been wearing longer than he could remember. His thumb trailed over one of the many stitched on purple patches as he remember the day that he and his mother had sat down with the fabric and needles and sewn them on together. Virgil rarely took off this hoodie, he thought of it as his armour. A chest plate of protection that saved him from whatever comes his way. A part of his mother was stitched into his hoodie and in that way he knew he wasn't alone.

Realising that he wouldn't have time for a shower and that the running water would be too loud anyways, Virgil threw on his clothes and grasped his phone and headphones from the table. He gently opened the door to his bedroom, praying for It not to creek, and slipped out into the hallway. Virgil was painfully aware of which of the floorboards along the hallways and down the halls creaked, and were to step on the stairs so that he wouldn't make a single sound. When the young teen reached the bottom of the steps, he placed a hand over his own mouth, silencing his breath as he peaked his head around the door to the living room.

In the darkened corner of the dusty old room, beyond the cigarette butts and empty beer cans, Virgils father laid strewn across their sick covered sofa. The TV was still switched on, the eerie sound of static emanating from its screen. Deep snores grumbled from the mans mouth and a chill went down Virgils spine. The large man had a half empty beer can in his large intimidating hand and a disgusting slither of drool ran through his beard into a pile on the pillow beside his head. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and tried to imagine the life he once had, where the curtains were pulled back and the room was full of colour and his mother leaned against the door to the kitchen. A cup of coffee in her hands and a smile on her face, waving him off to school and telling him to have a good day. Virgil sighed and stepped back from the threshold of the room. Maybe, today would be okay.

A floor board squeaked beneath Virgil's feet as he shuffled backwards and the boys eyes shot wide open. His heart found itself stuck in his throat and his hands immediately flew to cover his stomach. His father grumbled and rolled around on the sofa, his beer sloshing and dripping onto the carpet beneath it. Virgil was for sure going to pay for this when he got back, but he was not about to wait for that moment to come. Virgil breathed in deep, praying for all the courage he could muster from Gods that he believed didn't exist and backed out of the doorway. He reached for his keys and sprinted out of the door before his father even had the chance to open his eyes.

When Virgil finally got to the street outside his house and the little rickety gate was closed tightly behind him and he was definitely sure that his dad wasn't behind him, he let out a sigh of relief and a single tear fell from his unbelievably tired eyes. The boy pulled his hood over his head, connecting his headphones and putting them on before shoving his hands in his pockets, preparing to make the long walk to his high school at the top of the tall hill. Virgil knew that he would have to prepare himself for the dreaded walk past the bus stop, half way up the hill, filled with jocks and popular kids alike. Who all, for some reason, had murderous vendettas towards the smaller teen.

As soon as Virgil caught a glimpse of the bus station, the courage that he had thought he had this morning, quickly fizzled away. The stop was crowded and loud and Virgil wanted the ground beneath his feet to swallow him up and take him away from here. Logically, he could chicken out and cross to the other side of the road, but then he would get more verbal and physical abuse when he arrived at school for being such a 'baby' and not taking his beating 'like a man'. So, Virgil stayed strong, clinging to his backpack straps for dear life, his eyes not moving from where they were trained on the cracks in the sidewalk. Silently begging that they would cut him some slack, today.

Most of the population of the bus stop were half of the football team and their respective girlfriends, along with a couple lucky few that were allowed in their vicinity. Virgil tried his very best to avoid every single person, picking the opening that was the closest to the wall and attempting to physically become one of the old worn out bricks. However, despite his best efforts, Virgil just couldn't remain unseen and.. of course.. he inevitably, caught the attention of the captain of the football team. Dean..

Dean was the biggest dude on the team, his chest nearly hitting his chin and his arms folded like logs over his torso. His red and white varsity jacket stood out whenever he was near, just like every other member of the football team, and he just couldn't leave Virgil alone whenever he saw him. 

"HEY! VIRGIN! Where you going?! Think you can just sneak past us?" Dean sneered, blocking the smaller boys path and puffing out his chest impossibly further.

Virgil stopped still, the familiar feeling of warm fear coiling in his gut, hoping that if he just stayed silent and didn't move.. the inevitable wouldn't come. He was wrong. The half of the football team that was gathered at the stop, followed their leader and surrounded Virgil. Now he had nowhere to run...no escape. He stared at the crowd with pleading eyes but the rest of the people there just looked on, either agreeing with the abuse that Virgil was about to endure or just too afraid that if they stood up for him, the same would happen to them.

Virgil just barely managed to tense his shoulders and brace himself in the small window of time before Deans hands reached out to his chest and shoved him backwards, forcefully, into the Jocks behind him. The boys jeered and caught him easily, pushing him back up just in time for Deans fist to smack the side of his face, connecting with his cheekbone and sliding down his face. Virgil blinked a few times and the world suddenly became a blur of shapes and colours. He landed in a heap on the floor and spluttered a few times, a tiny spittle of blood flowing from his lip. He didn't have time to regain his composure and stand before he felt a foot dig into his back at the bottom of his spine and another boot to the stomach while they all muttered insults and laughed among themselves.

Virgil shut his eyes and entered the space in his mind that he usually regressed into during moments like this. He breathed as deep as he could, with much difficulty, and thought of his mom. Her bright blue eyes and bouncy blonde hair, the wide smile that she would always get when she looked at him and the glimmer in her eyes. He imagined her silky voice covering the hisses of the other teens. When they spat out insults like 'Virgin!' and 'Homo!' he heard her soft whispers telling him that he was wonderful and beautiful and that.. words can only hurt if you let them.

Then he realised that she wasn't there, the words were hurting and so were the feet in his back, and he came crashing back into reality just as one of the boys hauled him up and punched him again. Luckily for him, the abuse stopped there.. for now, as the old bus screeched into the stop. The driver saw but said nothing as the boys promised Virgil some extra violence when they got to school and then they were gone, and Virgil was left gasping on the sidewalk alone. Just another usual Tuesday morning, Virgil thought as he picked himself up, brushed himself off, grabbed his bag and carried on up the road to school. Now he was sure he was going to be late.

When he finally reached the giant, metal, paint chipped door, Virgil could barely muster the strength to push them open. Luckily for him, the hallways were blissfully empty and silence filled the usually loud school. Virgil didn't exactly make it a mission to be late everyday, but he was glad that he was, especially on days like today. Virgil stumbled into the empty bathroom before heading to class, the teachers barely paid him any attention at all but he knew that questions would be asked if he turned up to class with a shiner.

The young teen stared up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and sighed. He barely recognised himself like this, despite the fact that this was how he looked everyday without fail. His eyes were red and swollen, a dark bruise already forming along his cheekbone and under his right eye where he could still see tear tracks. His lip was puffy and dried blood was smeared on his chin, he attempted to run his finger over his lip but it was still too sensitive. Virgil couldn't help the single tear that rolled down his cheek from looking at his own reflection but he quickly washed his face with water and pretended that it didn't happen. 

With shaky, dripping hands, Virgil reached into the front pocket of his backpack and pulled out a small pencil case. He re-zipped his bag and placed the case on the sink, opening it and pulling out the make up that was so overused that he was sure he would have to buy some more on his next secret shop run. He chuckled to himself at the concept of him having to have 'secret' shop runs and uncapped the concealer, applying a decent amount along his cheekbone and under his eye, making sure to be careful when touching over the forming bruise. He let that dry and then practically painted on the eyeliner and eye shadow. Virgil liked eye shadow, it made him look slightly threatening and hid his bruises at the same time. Best of both worlds.

He put everything back in his bag and tied his hoodie around his waist determidly. You were not technically allowed to wear jackets or hoodies around your waist but Virgil was practically invisible to everyone and he woudnt take it off even if he was asked. The small boy breathed deeply through probably, broken ribs, and exited the bathroom to rush to his class. Virgil shuffled through the door and quietly sat in the only open seat in the back and placed his equipment on his desk. The teacher looked over and noticed him, raising an eyebrow in disappointment.

"Great of you to join us, Virgin- I mean, Virgil!" The teacher didn't mean to insult him.

Everyone laughed, one of the students even turned in her seat and loudly stated,  
"Of course, he's a virgin! Only virgin homos wear make up!" The laughs erupted again and the teacher threw him an apologetic look but did little else.

Virgil let his hair fall over his eyes and sunk further into his seat, trying his hardest not to cry. This was going to be a long and difficult day.


	2. Logan Striker

The town outside the windows was still dark when Logan made it to the kitchen table for breakfast. No bird calls or whizzing traffic, just silence and serenity. Logan pulled out his chair and sat down, picking up his book and diving straight into his studies. The boy sighed and rubbed a hand over her forehead in frustration at the particular wording of a phrase as he occasionally spooned mouthfuls of cornflakes into his mouth. Logan's glasses fell slightly down his nose and he simply pushed them back up with his knuckle, an exhausted look in his dark eyes. He sat straight up, something that he had been taught by his mother who was sat in the seat opposite him, their posture matching as they both sat at the breakfast table. 

Logan's family generally ate in a comfortable silence, communicating mostly in pointed stares and smiles. Some would even go as far at to say that they were telepathic if they saw them in the streets. It was perfectly peaceful and this way, Logan could put all of his focus on his studies and not have to worry about how stressful keeping a conversation going was. Logan was content in believing that this morning was going to be a peaceful morning like all of the others, until a familiar light voice lifted him from his thoughts.

"Logan, honey." The teen turned to look at his other mom, who was stood by the coffee machine to the right of the breakfast table, her smile soft and her eyes filled with worry. The mug in her hand was covered in a floral design, much different to the two plain ones on the table. Logan looked up and matched her smile, quirking an eyebrow as a gesture for her to continue what she was saying.

"I'm worried about you, Lo.." She continued, filling her mug with strong coffee and pulling out a chair to sit beside her son.  
"We've talked about your sleeping habits. You really need to take better care of yourself." She frowned, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. Logan's smile faltered, he was sure that he had been subtle.

Logan placed his book on the table beside his cereal and turned to face his mom, trying his best to make his smile look convincing and attempting to sound as sincere as possible.  
"I've been sleeping fine, Mom. I promise."  
His false sincerity was caught out by his mother, who sternly put down her cup and stared daggers at him.  
"Bullshit, Logan. I saw your light on last night at 3AM. Don't lie to your mom."

"Cynthia! Hon, language. Your mother is right. We know that you're concerned about your grades but you need to be healthy." His mom urged. Desperate to get through to her son who seemed to be drifting further and further away from them.  
"Mom.. there's a test at the end of this week and I cant fail. It's a score that gets added to our final grade and if I fail this then might as well fail the whole year." Logan panicked, his hands starting to shake in frustration.

"You wont, baby." His mom reassured, placing one of her dainty hands on top of Logan's shaking, cold ones. "Even if you do, which you wont, your health is more important. Lights out by 12, please." His mom asked, squeezing his hand lightly and seemingly ending the conversation. Logan looked to his mother for support, hoping that she would see it how he did, she only smiled and stared at him pointedly in warning. He was cornered and he had to agree.

"Okay, moms." Logan finished, going back to his reserved silence and his book as his moms sighed in unison, knowing that their words had fallen on deaf ears.

Yes. Logan had two moms. He had always had his mom and his mother, ever since the day he was thrusted into the world. People had always tried to convince him that it was 'weird' and 'not normal' while he was growing up, but Logan managed to disprove their arguments, religious or otherwise. His moms were his moms, they loved him and he loved them and that's all that should matter to anyone. His parents were perfect for him in every way, aside from the fact that they were a little overbearing, like any parents.

They just didn't understand that, if Logan wanted to get anywhere that he wanted to go in life, he would have to pull out all of the stops. Which meant:  
1) No sleep, no matter how tired the young teen got. An hour of sleep could be the difference between an A and a B and Logan couldn't take that risk.  
2) A small addiction to coffee that Logan would deny that he had if anybody asked. Despite the fact that he can't go a day without more than 4 cups.  
3) Minimal connection or interaction with kids his age at school, meaning no friends. Friends were a distraction. He had learnt that one the hard way.  
4) Finally, a tendency to fall asleep and very inopportune moments. like.. at a breakfast table, with your parents.. the second after they talked to you about sleeping habits..

"LO!" Logan startled.

Before allowing himself to be lectured, again, by both of his moms, Logan grabbed his bag and pushed his glasses back up his nose. He muttered a rushed 'bye' as he kissed his parents on the cheek and then practically ran out of the house. Once he made it passed the flowered garden and out of the pristine front gate, Logan smoothed out his shirt and tie and slung his bag over his shoulder. His brain switched into his morning school route mode, he had to get the journey perfect. God forbid he ever be late.

Logan, thankfully, lived quite a long way from school on the other side of town. This meant that he wouldn't have to commune to school with the rest of his idiotic classmates or take part in any of their jovial activities. However, he did have to take two busses that were full of arguably, equally annoying people. Logan counted, recounted and counted his money again as he paced towards the bus stop, ensuring that he had the exact right amount of change that he needed and that he wouldn't make a fool out of himself by being a dollar short. He checked the bus times and routes several times before finally relaxing and waiting for the bus to arrive. 

The young man elected to stay stood up at the stop for two separate reasons. The first a main reason being that, he had experienced the sticky and grime filled benches at an earlier date and he was not eager to do it again. The second reason being that he was the first one there, and other people may want to sit if they were tired or struggling to stand. 

Once Logan's first bus arrived, he gave the driver his money, thanked him, and travelled to the middle of the vehicle. A seat that he had logically chosen, given the other members of his journey and how he wanted to avoid all of them. His first bus was filled with the regular patrons and despite the fact that Logan had ear buds buried in his ears, he still knew exactly what all of them were saying. Due to the fact that they had all said it a thousand different times in a thousand different ways.

There was lovely, sweet, old Miss Fern. She generally sat alone with her paper when her husband was not with her. She read in silence at first, which Logan could respect. That was until the seemingly lovely lady, started to utter racist and arguably highly offensive things under her breath, in response to what she was reading. Logan could never respect anyone like that, they didn't deserve respect.

Then, to the left of him, Molly Cartwright and her boyfriend 'Eddy' were usually huddled close together. They generally showcased far too much PDA for Logan's liking, and so he tries his best to ignore everything that they do. He assumed that today was one of the days where the two were going through one of their many rough patches, as they were sat further apart and only mildly groping each other.

Unfortunately, for the quiet young boy, Logan's second bus journey was far worse than the first. The transport was generally used as a school bus for children far younger than themselves and their entitled parents who either didn't own cars or who just liked the idea of inconveniencing everyone in their vicinity. No matter how high Logan blasted his classical music in his earphones, he could still hear the screaming, crying and yelling. One time, he had dared to ask one of the little boys to quieten down, as he was running up and down the bus isle and yelling.. loudly. When the child's mother had seen him talking to her child, she had flown off the handle, screaming at Logan for trying to parent her child. At one point she even accused him of trying to assault her child and she tried to grab for Logan, Luckily, their was a nice man beside him who had seen the whole thing and who managed to calm the situation down. From then on, Logan decided he would never open his mouth on this bus again.

Thankfully, this time, Logan had made the entirety of his bus route with no interruptions or issues and was finally dropped a few streets from the school. As Logan walked the rest of the way, he memorized his time table and routine for the rest of the day down to the minute. He needed to assure that he knew exactly what he was supposed to be doing at all times during the day, that way, nothing could possibly go wrong.

When he arrived at the large, double doors, Logan pushed them open enthusiastically. He enjoyed school because it was a place that was going to excel him in life and a place that was only trying to help him get the best education for his future. He was greeted upon entry by one of the nice teachers, Mr Price, who commended him on his motivation for attendance. Being the only one that arrived at 7AM, Logan had the chance to get to his first class in silence. He also had the ability to chose the seat he wanted in the front row and arrange all of his belongings in the correct order on his desk, without panicking and getting everything wrong.

While waiting for the other students to join him, Logan took notes from the subject teacher, who was explaining the material that they would be looking at in the next few weeks. Logan always liked being several steps ahead and the teacher felt appreciated. Win, win.  
If today was going to be the same as every day, then it would be a long but enjoyable day


	3. Roman James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro to ya boi, Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early new years/late Christmas
> 
> I am so sorry that this took so long to write but I hope you enjoy none-the-less :)

Roman groaned as he tumbled, unceremoniously out of his bed, his red covers wrapped tightly around his midsection and his alarm still blaring at volumes that, in Romans honest opinion, should not at all exist. The teen heard muffled shuffling from the room beside his own and he cursed at himself under his breath. Knowing that him falling out of bed and not turning his alarm off in time had probably woken up the entire house. He ragged the soft covers off of his body and scrambled to turn off the alarm on his phone, letting out a short puff of breath when the music thankfully stopped, filling the room with much needed silence.

"Ro...?" A shrill voice called from the other side of his door. Her tone was laced with exhaustion and annoyance but there was also a little worry in her voice. Roman cringed as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Sorry, Mom! I fell out of bed!" He called back, apologetically. There was a beat of silence before his mother chuckled and Roman heard receding footsteps, allowing the tension to leave his shoulders and his lungs to fill with breath again.

Wrestling with his covers and trying his best to place them back on his bed neatly, Roman sighed at the constant pinging of messages from his phone. He ignored all of them and finally managed to get the covers back in a straight positioning. A loud ringing blared from his phone as soon as he sat down on his bed and let himself relax, it was sudden and made the teen jump a little but it wasn't unexpected. It was likely the same call he got every morning. Roman let it ring.

Leaving his phone in his room incase he got any other messages or calls, Roman gathered his beige towel and headed across the hallways to the bathroom. The teen tried to make sure he was making as little noise as possible despite already knowing that his mom was awake, he was pretty sure his little sister Jessy was still in bed. Roman entered the bathroom and placed his towel on the rack, turning the 'on' button on the shower. He undressed quickly and held his hand under the flowing water, waiting for it to heat up before stepping under the warm spray of the shower.

After his short, but very relaxing shower, Roman hurriedly dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist before heading back to his bedroom. He ran into his sister half way down the hallway and nudged her playfully, running to his room before she could get him back for it. Back in his room, Roman grabbed his clothes from the chair by his desk and made sure his door was closed. He pulled on his underwear and tight, brown jeans, cringing when he struggled slightly to get them over his hips. He threw on his grey shirt and avoided the mirror in his room. Roman may be the co-captain of the football team and a 'heartthrob' among the students at school, but he didn't feel like he looked at all as good as other people believed he did. 

Over his grey shirt, Roman pulled on his football teams, red and white varsity jacket. A large, white, sewn in letter 'R' was on the back of the jacket and the collar was popped. His 'classic' look. After gaining enough courage to look himself over in the mirror, Roman added the finishing touch to his outfit, a silver chain with a small paper airplane symbol attached to it. He took his bag from under his desk and gathered his books and pens into it. After ensuring that he had all of his belongings in his bag, Roman took a seat on the edge of his bed and sighed. 

Roman's eyes circled his room and he smiled at the posters on his wall. There were a few famous football players and a couple of posters of half naked girls that his eyes rarely landed on. He had a bunch of band posters and a few niche anime pictures that few people would recognise if they saw them. Roman glared at his phone that still lay on the table beside his bed, debating whether or not to call back his 'friend'. In the end, Roman's desperate need to remain popular and included won over his distain for the teen and Roman picked up his phone and dialled the number. 

"James! What the hell is talking you so long??" The voice on the other end yelled and Roman instantly regretted calling him, holding the phone a little further from his ear. From the ambient yelling and conversation on the other end of the call, Roman guessed that his 'friend' was on the school bus. 

"Heyyyyyy, Deano!" Roman answered, "I slept through my alarm and I've only just had my shower. Ill be on my way soon, though." Roman excused, bouncing his legs and squeezing his eyes shut. To the untrained eye at school, it may seem that Roman was the leader of their group of friends, but in reality, his co-captain Dean ran the ship.

"Well, while you've been getting your dick wet in the shower, wanna know who we ran into? What you missed out on?" Dean asked, chuckling. Roman knew that this was one of the questions that Dean asked that Roman couldn't answer with a 'no' so he just let Dean keep talking.

"That fucking nerdy little emo kid. He walked too close to us, yknow? Spreading his fairy disease! So we had to teach him who the boss is around here." Dean explained, telling the story of that morning while Roman gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists by his sides. He got angrier and angrier every second that Dean kept talking but he knew that he had to play along.

"Oh. Yeah. Virgin, right?" Roman confirmed with mock enthusiasm. Of course, Roman knew who Virgil Edwards was. He had sat behind and beside him in many classes and Roman was a little more than embarrassed about the fact that whenever he sees Virgil, Romans eyes linger for far too long. 

"You make him cry?" Roman asked, his blood boiling and every second making him hate Dean even more. Roman already knew the answer, of course Dean had made the smaller teen cry, it was his trade mark. If someone left a beat down crying, you can be sure that Dean was behind it.

Dean, being the sadistic piece-of-shit that he was, just laughed and told Roman to hurry his ass to school. Roman was sure to hang up as soon as he was sure that he was allowed to without being questioned, he then proceeded to stand up from his bed and reel back, kicking his desk in a small fit of rage. He was angry at both Dean for hurting people that Roman cared about and at himself, for caring about those people.

Once Roman was semi-calm, he picked up his backpack and left his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Once he got downstairs, Roman was met with the delicious smell of toast coming from the kitchen. Next to the plate of toast that his mom, Katherine, had made for him, was a note with her handwriting that read:

~I'll be back at 12PM. There's money under this note for take out for you and Jessy but please eat something in the house. Love you, be good, Mom."~

Roman smiled fondly, eyeing the money and making a mental note to give it back to his mother when she got home. He called up to Jessy to tell her to get her ass to the truck if she still wanted a ride to school and he heard footsteps rushing down the hallway. He then took his keys from the small wooden bowl by the door and walked out to his truck.

Romans truck was a light blue, 1970, Chevy pick-up. The paint was chipping and there was rust in places that Roman was sure that rust probably shouldn't be. The truck also previously belonged to his father and was the last thing that Roman had as a memory of him. Roman's father, Pete, left when he was eight and when Jessy was only six, and Roman had despised him for it ever since. For abandoning him and his little sister and for leaving his mom to raise two kids alone with little to no money. He also despised this goddamn truck, but Roman couldn't complain because it got him from point A to point B.

Jessy finally came out to the truck, Roman obviously wasn't actually going to leave without her, and they both got into the pick-up together. The engine turned over a few times before actually starting with a growl. The ride was only five minutes long, ten if the traffic was bad and Roman and Jessy usually remained silent. They didn't have a lot in common to talk about so their drives together were usually filled with Romans Disney CD playing quietly. Jessy had laughed at first but vowed to never tell anyone. 

Roman pulled into the car park of the school slowly, quickly replacing his Disney CD to a more well accepted rap CD and cranking the volume up. There wee stares as the pick-up pulled into an empty space and Roman and Jessy jumped out, slamming their doors almost in sync. The two waived to each other before Jessy jogged over to her friends and Roman trudged along the gravel car park with his eyes mapping out the area in search for his 'squad'. He occasionally passed groups of girls, who he winked at with no feeling and smaller groups of nerds and loners that he unintentionally scared who scuttled away.

Roman had almost reached the large school doors successfully, without any interactions with his 'friends' but, of course, it couldn't be that easy.

"Ro!" "Broman!!" "Wait up!!" He heard the various yells from behind him and groaned, turning and plastering a large fake smile on his face.

The large majority of the football team and their respective girlfriends were behind him, Dean leading the pack with his 'chick' hanging off of his arm.

"H-hey, Ro.." Oliver, one of the nicer boys on the team, greeted him. He smiled up at Roman in admiration, a small blush on his face that was strangely similar to the way that all of the girls looked at him.  
"We're all going up to the field to practice for a few hours. Are you...um.. coming?" He asked, pointing up to the field and looking at Roman expectedly.

"I can't, Oli, sorry. Sorry guys, but coach says that if my grades don't improve, he'll kick me from the team." Roman replied, hopping from foot to foot awkwardly, anxious that everyone's eyes were on him. Oliver looked a little dejected but he hid it well.

"Kick the captain?" Dean laughed, shaking his head. "Don't be so stupid."

Romans nervous small smile faltered and he turned to Dean, his voice angry and his stance confrontational.

"Co-captain, Deano... co-captain. And if you don't mind, im going to listen to coach."

"Jeesh, okay... pussy." Dean replied, before leading the group away to the field. Oliver was at the back of the group and turned to wave at Roman before jogging to catch up with the rest.

Roman waved back and offered a smiled before opening the school doors and speed walking to class. Both so that he could be on time and so that he wouldn't be stopped by any other people that wanted him for something. He luckily managed to get there at the same time as the vast majority of his peers. He took a seat in the back row and threw his bag under the table, unzipping it and taking out his books and equipment.

The class begun and Roman couldn't help but stare at the empty seat beside him where a certain hoodie clad teen usually sat. He was more than a little embarrassed about the feeling of worry that rose in his chest as the minutes ticked by with still no Virgil. Roman shook his head and willed those feelings away, paying more attention to the lesson. After all, he wasn't gay, so why was he acting like such a fairy?

Roman was very relieved when Virgil finally walked through the door and sat in front of him, but he would never tell anybody that. The teen beside him rummaged through his bag and took out his equipment but was clearly missing something. Roman looked over at the smaller teens desk subtly and noticed that his pencil needed sharpening but he had no sharpener. Against his own better judgement, Roman leaned over tapping Virgil's shoulder and passing him his own sharpener. He smiled at Virgil when the boy took it from him with wide eyes and shaking hands. He quickly sharpened his pencil and chucked the sharpener back at Roman, glaring.

Roman cursed at himself when Virgil looked away, he balled his hands into fists and cringed at himself. He heard Deans voice in his head, yelling at him for acting like such a homo and lecturing him that he should be beating 'Virgin' up, not letting him borrow his goddamned sharpener!

Roman sighed, today was going to be another classic day where he hated is friends, hated himself and pretended to hate the boy in front of him.


	4. Patton Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton arrives at his new school and his first encounter.. isn't exactly the nicest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not uploading in a long time. Heres some patton for your soul to make up for it

"Patton, sweetheart. Are you sure about this? We only moved here a couple of days ago, you don't have to go straight into school." Patton's mother cheerfully said from the front seat of her husbands yellow Honda civic. His dad was mainly focused on the road but he hummed in agreement and smiled at Patton through the rear view mirror.

Patton took a minute to think, knowing that it was common for him to make split second decisions only to regret it later. However, he knew he wanted this, he knew that he wanted to dive headfirst into the learning and making new friends and he was certain that this place was going to be good. He was going to love it here, he knew it.

"Yeah, mom, I'm sure!" Patton confirmed, fiddling a little with the bracelets on his arms and then taking his time to look out of the window at his new town. This place was nothing like California. It both made Patton sad and happy. There were more trees here than California and Patton liked that.. although.. everyone looked a little down. 

When they finally reached the parking lot of the school, Patton had jumped out of the car so fast that he had almost forgotten his backpack. The bright yellow car drove off as Mr and Mrs Thomas watched their son disappear through the front gates, smiling and laughing with each other as they cruised down the road. Patton had waved them goodbye proudly, uncaring about who saw his love for his parents.

Patton's grin was ear to ear as he pushed open the large paint chipped doors of his new high school. Over the phone, the principal had told his parents that the school was named 'Astra High' and that it was where 'stars' were made, and so naturally, his parents had signed him up immediately. Patton breathed in deep and grasped both straps of his worn out, blue backpack. He strutted down the hallway confidently, in a way that made it seem that he could feel all of the stares and whispers of the other students that surrounded him.

The dim, flickering light of the hallway did little to lessen Patton's good mood as he made his way to his morning class. The whispers in the hallways were quite evenly slip in their content. Half of them seemed to be based on Patton's appearance and the other half were seemingly angrily muttering about his apparent positivity to being in school. His outfit consisted of his favourite blue shirt tucked into his brown khakis that were rolled up at the bottom a little. His arms were covered with rubber bracelets in various bright colour that seemed to blind the other students. It also didn't help his case that his faded, yellow sneakers had rainbow laces and large circular glasses were balanced delicately on the tip of his nose. His curly brown hair was just insult to injury and topped off the very unthreatening look that Patton displayed.

Patton had entered his first class only to be turned away and told to go to the principals office, where he was supposed to be fifteen minutes ago. Patton' smile never faltered, even though the teachers tone was overly condescending and patronising and, frankly, quite rude. Patton was approximately 15 paces away from the principals office when he saw several attractive looking teens with red and white jackets approaching him.

Patton, being the nice and approachable person that he was, waved politely at the group and smiled. This was apparently the wrong thing to do. The largest of the seven or eight boys, who Patton had assumed was the leader, lurched towards him angrily. Patton cringed as his back hit the wall of lockers behind him, the leaders forearm was digging into Patton's chest and, despite his best efforts, Patton couldn't move.

"Who the F**K do you thin you're looking at fa***t?!" He yelled. Spit showered over Patton's face and the smaller boy grimaced, his smile faltering for half a second. Patton very carefully analysed his situation before continuing. Surely there were too many bystanders for this to go any further than harsh words and, looking at the red and white jacketed teens that were surrounding them, Patton was sure that at least a few of them would take control over their friend if this got out of hand, and so, Patton decided to be brave.

"Well... that isn't a very nice thing to say." Patton stated, calmly. He wiped the spit off of his face with the back of his hand and still, for some reason, had a smile on his face and wasn't fazed by the altercation. At this point, the commotion had attracted a small crowd but the larger teen didn't seem bothered by the extra attention. Most of them were surprised at how calmly the new kid was handling the situation and were morbidly intrigued as to how it would end.

Patton could feel the teen in front of him shaking with rage, he had clearly misjudged the situation. He tensed his body as the teen was obviously about to yell some more or even dare to take a shot at him, despite being 15 paces from the principals office. Patton was just about to close his eyes and brace for impact when a soft yet shrill voice shouted from the other end of the hallway.  
"DEAN! C'mon, leave the nerd alone, we got practice!"

The teen, 'Dean', angrily let go of Patton. He reeled his arm back and punched the locker beside Patton's head, making the smaller teen jump and cower a little. Dean muttered something about Patton being 'lucky' and that they 'wouldn't be interrupted next time'. He glared at Patton and spat on his yellow shoes before turning on his heel and storming down the hallway, his goons all following and laughing about how scared Patton looked. Patton noticed that, among the crowd of delinquent footballer, was a teen who turned to him and mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' before rushing to catch up with the rest.

Patton smoothed out the creases in his shirt and straightened the glasses on his nose. He cringed inwardly at the glob of saliva on his shoe and shook his foot until it was sort of clean. Looking up, Patton was confronted with people who were still shocked by the encounter. Patton waved at them happily, his smile still somehow warm and bright. He saw a small kid in a black hoodie give him a half smile before turning away.

Patton rounded the corner once he was sure that the football team were far enough away and slinked along the wall to the principals office for the meeting that he was now, 20 minutes late to. Patton made sure to knock and only entered when he heard a voice inside yell for him to do so. Patton's breath was laboured when he closed the door of the office behind him and his cheeks were a subtle shade of pink but he quickly straightened up when he heard the gruff voice of who he assumed was his principal.

"Hello, Patton Thomas. Welcome to Astra High, birth place of stars.. you're late..."


	5. New kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is called in to be Pattons guide and warns him about who to talk to and who to stay the heck away from

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall, I am so sorry for not updating in so long. This virus has really taken a toll on my family and I havent really had the chance to write anything. I didnt want to just throw out a half assed chapter.  
Sorry again and thanks for reading :)  
-Al

The bell signalling the end of class rung and Logan was still scribbling down notes. He only noticed that class was over when he heard the scoffs and giggles around him as teens walk past his desk and ridiculed him for.. liking work? Realising he may be late for his next class, Logan begun to pack up his notebooks and stationary into his bag, when the teacher approached his desk after checking her emails. 

Logan looked up quizzically at the small, plump woman and pushed his glasses up his nose, wondering why she would be approaching him. All of his work for the class had been completed and he had been a model student in this class for the majority of the school year. Logan began to think that maybe, finally, this would be her addressing the awful attitude of the rest of the students in the class towards him, until she spoke up. 

"Logan, don't worry. No body is in trouble." The cheerful woman informed him when she saw the perplexed and anxious look on the young boys face. 

"But, the Principle needs you in his office. As soon as you possibly can be please. She explained as Logan rushed even faster to clear his desk of his belongings. He slung his bag over his shoulder and stood up quickly. Logan assured his teacher that he would be heading right to the office immediately, before he sped out of the classroom, almost tripping over his own shoes. 

The older woman chuckled before returning to her desk to work on her class notes for her next few lessons, quickly losing her smile and realising she would have to deal with less than intelligent people for the rest of her day. Logan headed down the long, crowded hallways in a sensibly fast manor, all the while, wondering what he could have possibly been called to the office for. Upon getting to the painted blue door with his Principles initials on, Logan knocked twice and entered once he heard the older man call out for him. 

"Logan! Thank you for coming, son. Don't worry, you will not be penalised for missing your next class and i'm sure that you will have enough notes to not be missing out on anything they have to teach," The Principle comforted as Logan approached his large, polished, oak desk. 

The bell signalling the end of class rung and Logan was still scribbling down notes. He only noticed that class was over when he heard the scoffs and giggles around him as teens walk past his desk and ridiculed him for.. liking work? Realising he may be late for his next class, Logan begun to pack up his notebooks and stationary into his bag, when the teacher approached his desk after checking her emails.   
  
  
Logan looked up quizzically at the small, plump woman and pushed his glasses up his nose, wondering why she would be approaching him. All of his work for the class had been completed and he had been a model student in this class for the majority of the school year. Logan began to think that maybe, finally, this would be her addressing the awful attitude of the rest of the students in the class towards him, until she spoke up.   
  
  
"Logan, don't worry. No body is in trouble." The cheerful woman informed him when she saw the perplexed and anxious look on the young boys face.   
  
  
"But, the Principle needs you in his office. As soon as you possibly can be please. She explained as Logan rushed even faster to clear his desk of his belongings. He slung his bag over his shoulder and stood up quickly. Logan assured his teacher that he would be heading right to the office immediately, before he sped out of the classroom, almost tripping over his own shoes.   
  
  
The older woman chuckled before returning to her desk to work on her class notes for her next few lessons, quickly losing her smile and realising she would have to deal with less than intelligent people for the rest of her day. Logan headed down the long, crowded hallways in a sensibly fast manor, all the while, wondering what he could have possibly been called to the office for. Upon getting to the painted blue door with his Principles initials on, Logan knocked twice and entered once he heard the older man call out for him.   
  
  
"Logan! Thank you for coming, son. Don't worry, you will not be penalised for missing your next class and i'm sure that you will have enough notes to not be missing out on anything they have to teach," The Principle comforted as Logan approached his large, polished, oak desk.   
  
  
"Thank you, Sir." Logan replied, his hands clasped in front of him and a sensible smile on his face.   
  
  
"No problem, Son. Now you may be wondering what you are here for. I have chosen you as an exemplary student to guide a new pupil around, who will shadow you and attend classes alongside you. He will be here shortly.   
  
  
Logan nodded respectfully but at the same time, felt himself inwardly cringe. This was not the first time that Logan had been chosen to guide a new student and it had never really ended well. Most of the new pupils that shadowed Logan, turned into the same people that glare at him in the halls today. They never really appreciated his help, and so Logan began to dislike being the schools guide. Not to mention the anxiety that meeting a new person gave him, no matter the situation. However, he knew how important it was to the principle that the new students get a good view of the school and Logan was his way to do that, and that in itself was very flattering. So for that reason, Logan complied.   
  
  
Time passed by and Logan felt like he had been waiting for the student in the corner of the office, where he had been instructed to stand, for more than ten minutes. Which didn't exactly will Logan with confidence. A first impression was everything to Logan and this new student was already late. Logan was beginning to become a little agitated and was about to ask the principle what it was that was taking the student so long, when there was a rapid knock on the office door. Not rapid in an aggressive way, but somehow excited. The Principle called for the person to come in and upon seeing the new student, Logan forgot how to breath for at least 10 seconds..   
  
The teen that had entered the Principles office had locks of soft brown curls that fell just below his ears and curled wildly at the bottoms. His grin was warm and inviting, refreshing in a way that Logan couldn't explain. Freckles dotted the smaller teens flushed cheeks that Logan imagined drawing constellations through while they sat together in comfortable silence. The striking amount of light, baby blue that the teen wearing almost hurt Logan's eyes but he couldn't stop looking and the taller teen found himself almost smiling just from being in the presence of this new student. This guy somehow didn't notice Logan standing just metres away and staring at him while the Principle greeted him, until the point where the Principle gestured to him and said,  
  
"Logan, this is Patton Thomas. Patton, you will be shadowing Logan. Any questions or queries that you may have, this is the man that you ask." His tone was full of pride as his large hand outstretched in Logan's direction, displaying him as a model student. Logan was flattered by the Principles intense pride in him, but simultaneously flustered as he realised that he would be with this teen almost all hours of the school day.  
  
Patton turned to face Logan and the taller teen snapped out of his staring and greeted Patton politely, hoping that the blush on his high cheekbones wasn't as obvious as it felt. Logan inwardly wondered how Patton seemed to be so bubbly and full of happiness and excitement to be in a school that he didn't know. Logan outstretched his hand for a handshake and Patton enthusiastically reciprocated, shaking Logan's hand happily. Logan felt sparks as his fingertips grazed the smaller hand in his own and the multi-coloured bands slipped slightly down Patton's wrist. Logan pulled his hand away quickly, knowing that it was foolish to feel this enamoured at a first meeting.  
  
Patton bounced on the balls of his feet, the rainbow laces in his shoes jumping along with him, as he greeted the teen who he would now in the future, refer to as his new friend, Logan. Logan was taller than Patton and slightly intimidating in a brooding way and Patton could tell that it would be difficult to pry a friendship out of this man. However, he could tell that there was still a softness behind Logans eyes and he was determined to dig it out and help him in any way that he could.  
  
The Principle, seemingly happy with the direction that the interaction was going, explained to the two students that their timetables would match and that they could now go and enjoy their twenty minute break, in which he was expecting Logan to show Patton around. Patton thanked the Principle for the warm welcome and Logan held open the office door for the smaller teen, following as they both walked out into the slightly crowded hallway.   
  
"Patton. I assume you know that, like every other school in America, the students here are standoffish and it is smart to be careful about who you approach and how." Logan explained as they headed threw the halls. Patton nodded cheerfully and stumbled to keep up with Logan's fast pace as they neared two, large, paint chipped doors. Logan flung them open and gestured to what seemed to be a crowd of rambunctious teens, gathered around tables and eating sloppily. The overwhelming smell of body oudor mixed with fruity perfume made Pattons smile falter and he immediately wanted to be as far away from here as possible.  
  
"This is the cafeteria. I don't generally mix with this crowd or eat in here.. ever." Logan droned, seemingly reeling off a script in his own mind that he had told a thousand times. Logan closed the doors and turned away, much to Patton's relief and begun walking down another adjacent hallway. Logan didn't really feel the need to explain where the corresponding classrooms were, as he could just do that throughout the week as he and Pattons timetables intertwined, and so, Logan guided Patton to the schools library. Here, it was quiet enough for him to have a decent conversation with Patton and it was also far enough away from the groups of people that would steal the young teen away and corrupt him, turning him against Logan within the week. Here in the library, no jock or cheerleader could interrupt them as they wouldn't be seen dead among actual intelligence.  
  
Patton tapped his feet against the legs of the table that he and Logan sat at, looking around in fascination at the rows upon rows of books of all kinds. There were colourful drawings along the walls in what Patton assumed was an attempt to draw people in and get them to actually read a book instead of using the library as a social gathering hub.  
  
"I think I ran into some of those unsavoury types that you were talking about." Patton begun to speak in a excited, hushed tone. Happy that he had someone to talk to about these things instead of having to find somebody himself and possibly wind up repeating the experiences from his first ten minutes in the school.  
  
"He was big and had a football jersey on. It was red and white. There were a group of the same guys around him but the main one was a little more aggressive than the rest of them." Patton explained, a smile on his face despite the subject matter.  
  
"Dean Remins..." Logan sighed through gritted teeth. Every nerd, loner or social outcast, knew who Dean was. They had all had at least one personally uncomfortable experience with the troubled teen, Logan included. Logan was slightly upset that Dean had targeted Patton after maybe five minutes of the new student entering the school, but was consoled by the fact that Patton seemed virtually unaffected.  
  
"Those boys that you had the misfortune of meeting are the football team for Astra High. Most of them are uneccesarily aggressive bullies but there are atleast two or three that are getting good grades. Those are the rare ones that don't purposefully go out of their way to make people like us miserable.." Logan explained, his voice low and filled with calmness despite Patton knowing that he was angry inside. Patton supposed that Logan simply didn't want anyone to perceive him as someone who is quick to anger.  
  
"There girlfriends are mostly cheerleaders with only a few exceptions. They are, as the other students say, 'off limits'" Logan continued his explanations, using air quotes for terms that he wouldn't generally use. Patton was fascinated as he watched this teen that was the same age as him, speak in a way that his dad usually did.  
"A few students have found out the hard way, that if you talk to a football team members girlfriend, you will get hurt. No matter your intentions, whether friendly or... otherwise."  
  
Logan went back to looking down at his opened book and Patton mulled over what he had been told by Logan. Stay away from the huge guys that want to punch everything in there path? That, Patton could understand. However, he couldn't wrap his head around the idea that he wouldn't be able to talk to the nice girls that happened to be in a relationship with said footballers. Surely, they should have the freedom to be friends with whoever they wanted, right? Patton's eyes lit up when he realised he had figured it out. The footballers were insecure and afraid that their girlfriends would leave them for another boy and so they try to beat away the 'competition' so that they could have the girls to themselves.  
  
"Well, they shouldn't be worried." Patton piped up, cheerfully.  
"I wont be much competition, cause I'm gay."  
  
Logan's head snapped up from where he was looking in his book and his eyes were wide in shock. He whipped his head around, searching for anybody that may have head Pattons confession and was quick to shush the smaller teen. Logan's expression was pained as he whispered his next words to Patton in a fearful tone.  
  
"You have to be careful, Patton. This place isn't exactly accepting. Present company excluded, I am of course fine with any sexual orientation, its the other students that you have to be mindful of."  
  
"Oh." Patton whispered, lowering his tone but still smiling.   
"Either way, I wanted to let you know anyway because well... I want to be friends. And, this is something that you share with your friends."  
  
Logan felt his heart warm in his chest and the beating sped up as he forgot entirely about the context of the situation for a moment. He focussed solely on what Patton had confided in him with. In a new school, where people were aggressive and Patton had no idea of the stigma surrounding homosexuality, or if Logan would even accept him, Patton had trusted in Logan enough to give him this piece of information. This knowledge that could ruin Patton's social standing if in the wrong hands.  
  
"Well, of course. Of course.. we can be friends." Logan confirmed, a half smile on his face.  
  
Soon enough though, that half smile disappeared as he realised that, friendship is dangerous. Logan didn't want Patton to become too precious to him. It would only hurt a lot more when Patton inevitably left and moved on to different things. Like everybody else...


	6. Break time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just virgil at break

In Virgil's honest opinion, the twenty minute break between the second and third clad of the day, was not enough of a peaceful grace period. He would prefer for it to be much longer so he didn't have to be back in the sauna of a classroom full of assholes so soon. He'd prefer it if there was no school at all, but unfortunately, this was his only escape from the asshole at home.   
These were the barrage of Virgil's thoughts as he sat under the largest and oldest oak tree in the school grounds. His jacket covered back rested against the bark of the tree and his tattered backpack laying on the grass beside him. A small bluebird hopped from branch to branch above his head, tweeting as it jumped and Virgil took a second to breath. Even if the break wasn't as long as he wanted it to be, it was still a quiet moment of freedom.  
Virgil reached over to his bag, careful to not strain his bruises and wincing a little. He opened the flap of the backpack and dragged the zip open. Virgil pulled out his sketchbook, the edges frayed and torn, and a few pencils and erasers. Looking around to make sure that nobody in the area was watching him, Virgil carefully opened the sketchbook to his most recent drawing that he had begun working on. The lines were sketchy and faint but it was still incredibly clear, who the person he was drawing was.  
The rough outline of the co-captain of the football team, Roman James, stared up and Virgil from the paper. His hair was wild and his smile was soft and inviting. It was a simple bust drawing, with little to no details and Virgil wasn't exactly proud of it, but it wasn't finished yet. Virgil planned to fill the drawing with all the important details, like the paper aeroplane chain that he had noticed dangling round Romans neck, but not quite yet.  
Virgil continued the sketch as birds tweeted above him, grumbling to himself over how hard it was to draw Roman's eyes. The whirlpools of aggression mixed with a comforting gaze.. hot and cold all at once. Virgil could never get it right...  
The young teen had, had a crush on Roman for most of his high school life. He used to sneak under the bleachers and watch him practice for football games until he was caught by some of the other footballers and beaten so hard that his dads fists felt like tickles. He had no idea why he had a crush on Roman. The footballer hadn't exactly been unkind to him, but he also hadn't stopped his airhead friends from beating him up all the time. However, Virgil couldn't help but think that he was nice, somewhere under the anger in his green whirlpool eyes.  
Virgil heard the rustle of footsteps in the grass approaching him as he was putting the finishing touches on the sketch on Romans football jacket. He quickly slammed the sketchbook closed upon hearing the noise and layed both of his arms over the top of it in a sort of defence mechanism. This was something that he definitely did not want someone to have as a power to use against him. Virgil looked up wearily and groaned in frustration when he saw that it was just a girl, clearly a year or so below him.  
"Hey, I.. um.. i'm sorry to bother you, but.. I don't know how to get to my next class.." The young girl murmered shyly, her hands clutching the straps of her backpack and her lemon, yellow skirt blowing slightly in the wind.   
Virgil sighed in annoyance. This girl had just interrupted his peace, that wasn't even long enough in the first place, to ask for directions? Virgil begrudgedly put his sketchbook back in his backpack and stood up, brushing down the stray bits of grass that had stuck to his black jeans. Virgil begun walking across the small field back towards the high school when he turned back to the girl, who was still stood awkwardly by the tree. He rolled his eyes before gesturing for her to follow him and continuing to walk.   
The girl smiled and rushed to keep up with Virgil as the taller teen trudged towards the paint chipped doors of the school. Virgil entered and held the door for the smaller girl before heading through another door that she hadn't even noticed before. She followed in a hurry, afraid of losing Virgil and seemed surprised as they both entered a hallway that mirrored the main hallway but was almost completely empty.  
"How... how'd you find this?" The girl asked, tucking her blonde curls behind her ear, while looking around and keeping her pace with Virgil. Virgil moved his eyes from where they were trained on the floor and looked up at the smaller girl.  
"It was used back when this wasn't a mixed school. Girls would use one hallway and Guys would use the other, only mixing when they went to class. Then they realised that was a dumb idea and everyone pretty much forgot about these hallways. Its much easier to find an alternative route than to have to run through everyone else to get to class." Virgil explained, his voice low and full of hidden emotions. Of course, Virgil knew it wasn't the smartest to let the girl in on all of his secrets so he didn't tell her the reason he was running, but he also, somehow, knew that maybe she would need this hallway in the future. And, yknow, he wasn't a complete asshole.  
"That's so cool. What's your name?" The girl asked as they neared the area that she recognized as being close to her next class.  
"It's Virgil." He responded, his hands still in his jacket pockets and his hood blocking most of his face, but his eyes were no longer looking at the floor.  
"Mine is Mina, its nice to meet you. I'm kinda new." Mina chirped, her awkward exterior melting away now that she and Virgil had had at least one conversation. Virgil nodded in acknowledgement but didn't say much else as they rounded the corner and pushed through the doors into the main hallway again. Virgil cringed at the bustle and noise of other students and looked both ways before leading Mina to her class on the other side of the hall.  
Mina was about to thank Virgil, but when she turned to do so, the teen had already begun walking back through the doors and out of her sight. Mina shrugged her shoulders, she didn't really mind if Virgil didn't want to be friends with her, she was simply happy that she wasn't late to class on her first day.  
Virgil felt his feet drag along the tiled floor as he walked slowly through the almost empty hallway, revelling in the silence that directly contrasted the chatting and laughing of the main hallway. This hallway may be slightly darker than the other but Virgil was fine with the darkness. Virgil heard the ringing of the bell overhead but didn't speed up at all, knowing that being late wasn't his biggest problem. He still had to walk home at the end of the day, that would be a problem.   
Virgil calmly moved his way through the halls and eventually got to his third class of the day, opening the door and ignoring the stares, making his way to the back row and sitting down silently. There were a few snickers from the other teens on the other side of the classroom but Vigil shut them out.  
The teacher of this class continued his boring monologue on Shakespeare or something, while Virgil dug out his equipment from his bag. He debated on whether or not to finish his drawing in class, feeling a moment of bravery, and pulling out his sketchbook. He was very careful to make sure that people didn't see the drawing that he flipped to as he took out a few pencils and a red marker pen.  
Virgil finished the sketch and outline rather quickly, while also making pretty decent progress with his class work at the same time. He coloured in Roman's jacket with the bright red marker and looked ahead of him, seeing a flash of the real jacket and making sure it matched the drawing he had done. Roman sat two seats in front of Virgil, oblivious to the teens feelings for him. He was laughing loudly with his friends and the group was being generally annoying while the whole class attempted to learn.  
Virgil scribbled a doodle of a crown above Romans head, implying that the co-captain thought that he was kind of the school. Virgil found himself getting more and more annoyed at the sound of Romans melodic laugh as the class went on and so he decided to graffiti some other things on the drawing. He roughly drew a moustache, two devil horns and two large and ugly front teeth.   
Virgil found it funny for only a second or two before he realised that he had ruined his drawing that he had spent quite a bit of time on. He slammed the sketchbook close and threw it in his bag, going back to concentrating on his work. Virgil felt hot tears of frustration welling in his eyes as he stared down at his notes.. frustration at himself.   
Why did Virgil have to like someone like Roman? Why did he had to like the guy that was out of his league, untouchable, straight and kind of an asshole? Virgil felt himself getting more frustrated as he wondered why he couldn't just like someone that was realistically in his league and why he wanted, so badly, to hold Romans hand.   
Virgil wiped the tears angrily out of his eyes and focussed on the paper and the drone of the teachers voice.   
He swore, that from this moment on, he had no feelings for Roman. Not good, not bad.. simply, Non at all...


	7. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day has ended and each of the boys make their way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo boy this ones sad.  
TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of drug uses, lotta swearing, and physical abuse along with some pretty nasty verbal abuse to go along with it
> 
> If you dont vibe with that then..Yikes, this is not for you.

Roman let out a huge and laboured sigh of relief as the final bell rang out, a sign that school was over and he could get away from his overly macho and infuriating 'friends'. He hurried out of class and out of the double doors, stopping for a second on the school steps and appreciating the air on his skin.

He bumped fists with some of the guys that walked past him and waved goodbye to the girls that flirtily hugged him, not really letting him breath before finally releasing him from their grasp. Roman marched quickly through the gravel car park to his truck and threw his bag into the back, waiting for his sister with his foot up against one of the large wheels.

Jessy sauntered around the corner a few minutes later, much to Roman's relief. She shouted a goodbye to her friends and yelled an even nicer 'see you tomorrow!' to one of the guys in said group of friends before running over to Roman's truck. Roman glared at the lanky guy as Jessy jumped into the passanger seat and her brother got in a few seconds later.

"Who was that?" Roman asked, twisting the key in the ignition. His tone was both concerned and the slightest little bit mocking. Of course, like all older brothers, he was poking fun at the fact that his sister might like someone but he was also very worried for her. Relationships were never smooth sailing.

"Who was who?" Jesse retorted, pretending to be oblivious as she tapped away on her phone, smiling down at the screen.

Roman elected to leave it at that, trusting his sister to make the right decisions because she was a smart girl. He pulled out of the carpark quickly and the two made their way home in comfortanble silence. Roman didn't really feel like listening to any Disney tunes today. He was just focussed on needing to get home.

Roman and Jessy pulled up outside and entered their house, the younger of the two, bolting directly upstairs while Roman headed to the kitchen to prepare their dinner. He groaned in frustration when, not even five minutes into being inside, a text notification chimed on his phone. 

Roman let the oven do its thing after he put in their food, and pulled out his phone, begrudgedly reading the text messages.

Deano: Ay, lil man. meet us at the fields. Rbby pckd up sum gud weed an the girls r gona b there.

Ro: Sorry, little man, no can do.

Roman did not want to go out tonight at all. He was looking forward to eating and wallowing in self pity inside his house, alone. However, judging from the buzzing from his phone, Dean was not going to let him slip out on hanging out which... frustrated Roman to no end.

Deano: Wht, U babysittin ur sister again? Cmon, she'll b fine on her own. She aint a bby anymore, if u kno wat I mean.

Roman felt the blood boil under her skin and he gripped the counter he was leant against with the hand that he wasnt holding his phone with until his knuckles turned white. He couldnt punch a wall again because his mum could afford to repair it, but Roman felt his fists shake at the urge. The amount of times that Roman had wanted to punch Dean square in the face, could not be counted on both hands.

Ro: Quit it with that, Jessy is off limits, you know that.

Deano: Jst come, dude. Stop bein such a fuckin downer

Ro: Fine. I'll see what I can do. 

Roman threw his phone onto the counter and kicked the wall next to the fridge in frustration. Dean couldnt let him have one ounce of comfort and now he would have to spend the rest of the night with people that he didnt want to spend a second around.  
As Roman plated the food and walked along the hallway he had a fleeting thought that he would deny if anyone asked him.

What would virgil be up to, tonight?

\--------

"..And that is as average day at Astra High." Logan concluded as he and Patton exited chemistry along with a group of rowdy teens. Patton was practically fizzling with excitement as he walked beside his new friend down the halls of his new school. 

"Any questions?" Logan asked.

Pattons eyes were still so full of light even after a full day at school, whereas Logans eyes were tired and lacked the amount of energy that Patton had. The two walked down the long hallway as Patton thought over the question that he was going to ask in his head. He wondered if it was too soon of a question to ask, when he and Patton only been friends for a day. Never one to leave things unsaid, Patton decided to throw caution to the wind and just say it.

"Yeah, I've got one question. Do you want a ride home?" Patton asked cautiously, afraid that he was going to scare his new and only friend away. It was what he expected to happen after all.

Logans eyes widened and he stopped walking, both of the teens coming to a stop effectively in the middle of the crowd of students. Logan had expected a question about the upcoming history pop quiz this friday, or an algebra equation that he noticed Patton had particularly struggled with, or maybe even directions. Logan hadnt expected the question to be completely unrelated to work.

"Do I.. what?" Logan stuttered, wanting to make sure that he had heard the smaller teen right. He didnt want to take up the offer only for it to be not what Patton had meant. Patton bounced a little on the balls of his feet awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and looking up at Logan nervously.

"Well...at lunch you said that you usually get the bus home and that you didnt like it.. So I figured that you would like a ride to.. Save money?" Patton explained, getting more anxious by the minute as Logan looked as though he was going to reject him.

Logan stared into Patton's eyes, surrounded by the thin rims of his circle glasses. The soft, brown curls falling onto his forehead and his eyes wide with innocence and hope made Logans heart almost stop in his chest. Logan felt a blush creep up on his cheeks and looked away quickly, staring at the ground instead.

"I mean.. I-I couldn't.." Logan mumbled, his resolve slowly dropping. He really didn’t want to spend another two hours on busses surrounded by entitled people and screaming children. 

"Sure you could, let's go!" Patton chuckled happily, grinning and pulling Logan down the hallway. His small hand curled around Logan's wrist, just above his grandfather's watch. Logan smiled slightly and hurried along with Patton through the hallway and out into the carpark, following him up to the yellow Honda Civic that Logan assumed was his parents car. Patton hurried up to the passenger window where a woman was sat, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, Pat! How was your da- oh.. Who's this?" The woman asked, once she saw Logan stood awkwardly behind her son.

"Hey, mum! My day was a little rocky at the start but awesome. This is Logan, hes helping me out. Could we give him a ride, Dad?" Patton explained and asked the man who was sat in the drivers seat of the car. He chuckled and nodded,

"Hey, the more the merrier, son! I'm glad you've made a friend. Get in, kid, we'll get you home." He assured, his voice booming but cheerful and his gut bouncing slightly as he laughed.

Patton hurried around to the back door and opened it, sliding in and moving through the car to the other side, making room for Logan who carefully entered the car and put his seatbelt on. The car was small but not too cramped and Logan found himself relaxing into the comfotable seat as the car peeled out of the carpark and chugged along the road towards Logans house.

It was quiet for a second, the only noise being the soft hum of the radio, before Patton turned to Logan with a smile and said,  
"Logan, this is my mum, Martha, and my Dad, Steven."  
As Patton said their names, Martha turned and smiled at Logan and Steven shot him a wink and another chuckle.

"Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Thomas." Logan replied, respectfully. He lost his demeanor when the whole car erupted with hearty laughter. Mot laughing at him really, but simply laughing at what had been said.

"No no, honey. Martha and Steven is fine." Martha chuckled, batting at Steven's arm in an attempt to make him stop laughing,  
"Didn't Pat tell you how layed back we all are?"

Logan looked around the car at the cheery faces and could see where Patton got his light. He turned to the teen and felt himself feeling that familiar rise of fondness in his chest and the nagging hint of a smile trying to reach it's way through his cold barrier. Patton turned to him and smiled and Logan couldn't stop the grin that came out, turning away to face the window before Patton could notice.

"No.. He didn’t." Logan said happily, staring out at the trees along the side of the road. The radio was a steady hum in the back ground until Steven heard a few notes of a song that he seemed to recognize and hurridly turned the radio up,

"This is my favourite song! Mine and Mar's song..." The couple shared a loving glance before everyone aside from Logan, erupted into singing.

"I'M HOOKED ON A FEELING, IM HIGH ON BELIEVEING.. THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME!"

It didn't take long for Logan to begin humming along to the song as he watched houses and trees fly past. What? Their happiness was contagious, anyone would have joined in.

\------

Virgil was already out of the school and heading through the gravel car park before the bell for the end of the last class rang out. He had wormed his way out, like he usual did, by saying that he needed the toilet five minutes before class ended. That way, he could at least get a ten minute head start from the assholes that would be chasing him. He hurried his way down the hill and past the bus stop, not looking behind him the whole way.

Virgil had always been late to school, due to not being able to avoid Dean and his goons every morning. However, he had never been late to his job. He was almost always ten minutes early to his shift at Ali's Pizza place, and his boss was always happy with him for that.

Virgil took the quickest route there and eventually made it to the take out shop, rounding the building and entering through the employee only entrance in the back. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the metal door close behind him and the usual bustle of employees in the kitchen. Virgil threw his bag into his locker and tied his once-white-now-beige apron around his small waist.

Virgil shuffled into the kitchen, heading to the back where the meals were moved from the boxes to the windows where people would pick them up and deliver and he pulled on his gloves. He began his shift, packing the food and handing them to the delivery girl without a single word said in the 5 hours that he was stood in that corner.

The shift ended faster than Virgil would've liked but he couldn't complain, it gave him the money that he needed to save and get out of his situation. It was also a welcome escape for a few extra hours. Virgil pulled his bag out of his locker and clocked out, heading out of the door and rushing towards the corner store on the other end of the street.

The sun was slowly setting and Virgil checked his phone as he pushed his way through the door of the shop and headed straight to the back of the store where he knew the things that he needed would be. His phone showed that it was 8:05 and the small teen instictively hurried faster to grab the things that he needed and rushed to the counter.

The nice looking older woman behind the counter stared at Virgil quizically as he put his things on the counter between them. Virgil avoided the womans gaze as she scanned his items, seemingly more and more concerned with each item that she scanned. Two rolls of bandages, gauze, antiseptic, 4 packs of painkillers and a suture set. 

"That'll be... 4.50, kid." The woman confirmed the price and held her hand out for the money, debating on whether or not to ask. Thinking that it wasnt her place, the woman decided to leave it.

Virgil handed over the money quickly with cold and shaky hands. He swiped the items off of the counter and into his bag, mumbling a quick thank you before rushing towards the door.  
"Wait!" The woman called, having a momentary lapse in her concern, but Virgil was already out of the door and down the street before she could even finish her sentence.

Virgil felt the constriction in his chest getting worse and worse the closer that he got to his house, like a boa constrictor wrapping itself around his lungs. The time was nearing 8:34 and his palms were sweating as he opened up the rickety gate and stepped up to his door. Virgil felt himself trying his hardest to breath as he pulled the key out and opened the door to a place that he wished he'd never have to go back to. Maybe he would still be asleep...

The teen had taken two steps over the thresh-hold when a booming, clearly very drunk, voice travelled through from the room. The voice vibrated against the paint chipped walls and made its way to Virgils ears, who cringed at the tone. His dad was bad. His drunk dad? Was worse...

"Virgil. Is that you? Come here."

Virgils chest heaved as he threw his bag onto the stairs, shuffling through the hallway and towards the living room. He stopped just centimeters away from the doorway and toed of his battered shoes, remembering that his mother never liked shoes In the living room. 'The mud you tread in, makes karma begin.' She would always say.

Virgils dad was waiting for him in the centre of the room, his arms crossed in a position of power but his stance swaying. Drool was slobbering from his chin and his skin glistened with a thick layer of sweat. Virgil shrunk at the sight of rage in his father's eyes.

"H...hey, sir. I'm sorry I'm late, i just had to-" Virgil started, his voice meek and low, but he was interupted by his dad stepping towards him quickly. He stepped right into Virgils space and grabbed the sides of his hoodie, pulling it towards him until they were practically chest to chest.

"I didn't ask for your excuses, boy." He spat, saliva drenching Virgil as the small teen turned his head to the side, bracing for the impact that he had come to expect.

Against all odds, his father let go of his jacket and walked back to the centre of the room. He picked up the TV remote and flicked through channels, groaning while he did so. Virgil stood stock still, not daring to move a single inch. He knew that if he hurried away to his bedroom and hid before his dad was finished with him, he would be chased and he would get it way worse for 'running like a pussy.'

"Well.. Don’t just stand there, boy. Get me my beer!" His father yelled, not looking at Virgil but grinning smuggly when he heard Virgil's footsteps scurrying towards the kitchen in fear. Like a mouse running from a lion.

Virgil doesnt know if he breathed the entire time that he was in that kitchen. He held his breath as he reached in the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer, hurrying with his breath in his throat, to the drawer where they kept the bottle opener and opening the bottle before rushing back through to the living room. Unfortunately, in a cruel twist of fate, Virgil was stumbling too fast through the house and he felt the breath that he was holding escape him as his foot caught under a rip in the carpet that sent him stumbling to the floor. The beer in his hand flew threw the air and landed with a crash on the floor of the living room, bubbly liquid and pieces of glass exploding over the rug.

Virgil quickly looked up at his father who was now staring down at him with bulging eyes filled with unfiltered hatred. His feet pounded against the floor as he stomped towards Virgil, who was now hurridly trying to get to his feet. He made it to his knees before his dad grabbed him by his hood and pulled him up so that they were almost face to face and spat,

"For fuck sake, Virgil! You worthless piece of shit! Can't even carry a goddamned bear without fucking it up!" He roared, putting Virgil back on his feet before throwing his fist at the young boys face, making contact with Virgils cheekbone and shaking his hand in pain as he walked away from the crumpled boy.

"I..Ill clean it up.." Virgil muttered through sobs, clutching his cheek and pulling himself up.

"You're damn right you will. While you're at it, you can whipe off that damn make up. You look like a fa**ot." The older man gritted through his yellow teeth, sitting down on the broken sofa angrily.  
"And get me another beer. And don’t throw it all over the carpet like a fucking idiot, this time!"

"Yes, sir." Virgil mumbled before slowly moving from the living room to the kitchen to get what he needed to clean up and another beer, not wanting to repeat past mistakes. He sniffled as he collected the things and looked out of the kitchen window into his backyard, the small broken swing set that his mom used to push him on stood out there in the dark. Virgil swore he could see the small sillouhette of his own shadow, swinging on the swing with a smile on his face, his mother behind him laughing. Virgil snapped out of it when he heard his father cough and then the only thing he could see in the window was his own reflection, his eye already bruising more than it was this morning.

Virgil was sure, he would die in this house.


	8. Locker room talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tiring night out with Dean and the team, Roman attempts to get through school.

If you asked him, Roman would tell you that waking up had never been one of his favourite things to do. He wasnt exactly a 'morning person'. To the young football star, waking up seemed like far too much effort. Rolling out of bed, showering and then dressing the exact way that everyone always expected him to dress. He especially didnt like waking up after a night out in which he had partied till sunrise and arrived home less than three hours ago and his body was running on maybe two and a half hours sleep, if he was lucky. Roman was sure that if his coach knew his sleep habits, the lovely older man would be quite concerned about the performance of one of his star athletes. Luckily, however, Roman always managed to seem fully refreshed and wide awake, even if he was dead on his feet. Almost literally.

Roman turned over onto his side slowly while still huddled up in the mess of his covers and turned off his alarm, groggily. He elected to stay within he warmth of his covers, atleast for a few more moments. He opened his tired eyes little by little and immediately regretted doing so. It was very painfully obvious that his mom had been in his room in the quiet of the orning and opened his curtains. A fact that also meant that he had slept through his first alarm and that he had woken up his lovely mother. Great. Roman regretfully pulled off his warm blankets and cringed, seeing that he had slept in his jeans and tshirt combo from his wild night out. The young teen stumbled to the shower, pulling his clothes off gradually as he went and trying, desperately, to recall the happenings of last night.

Roman sighed and let the harsh rush of water fall over his hair and shoulders as he stood, bleary eyed, in the shower. He cast his mind back to the last twelve hours and ran a single shaky hand through his now damp hair. Dean had invited him out to the fields to hang out and he knew he couldnt turn it down, no matter how much he wanted to. Who knows what would have happened today at school if he hadnt shown up to their little gathering? For all he knows he could have been outcasted. Roman being outcasted means that Jessy would no longer have the protection of being the younger sister of one of the most popular guys in school. Roman couldnt let that happen to her.. not in this town.

When Roman had shown up to the field last night, cheers rang out as he approached the group. Dean and the rest of the high and mighty football team were sat around on the hoods of their fancy cars, while Roman had elected to walk. He made his way to the huddle of cars and leaned against Deans car door. The music was instantly too loud in Roman's opinion and he immediately had a headache. Their mutual 'friend' had, infact, brought weed. Just as Dean said that he would. Roman battled with his mind for at least half an hour, deciding whether or not to partake in the smoking and the drinking. Dean had egged him on, calling him a "pussy!" and a "Fucking fairy for not taking a hit man, its just bud, come on take a fucking hit, you pussy!"

Roman took the joint out of Dean's hand and pressed it to his lips. He inhaled and held the smoke in the back of his throat for a few seconds, before blowing out the smoke in one calm and smooth exhale. A relaxed hit, in which, he didnt choke once.

Dean didnt know what the fuck he was talking about.

Dean had chuckled and called him a show off, but atleast the hotheaded teen seemed happy with Roman's contribution to the group activity. Roman wasnt really sure what had happened after that point if he was to be completely honest. He remembers, vaguely, that there were beers and girls and more weed. He had layed out in the grass under the stars as the mindless chatting fizzled out. He recalls a particularly chatty girl that had layed with him, who had talked his ear off for hours but who seemed nice enough. Too nice to be here. Roman thinks his name was Amanda but it could have been Amelia and he was kicking himself that he didnt remember.

Roman was shocked back to the present when he felt the water running down his back begin to get colder until it was practically freezing and he hurridly hopped out of the shower. Drying himself off, Roman looked into the mirror beside him, sighing at the sight of the bags under his eyes ad subtle hint of red around his irises. Rushing back to his room, Roman threw on a hoodie and some jeans and attempted to hide the black under his eyes with the tiniest hint of foundation. He grasped his varsity jacket that had been strewn on he floor, tying it around his waist, hastily. Just as Roman was about to leave his room, the sweet smell of last nights illegal activity hit his nose and he was sure that anyone else walking past him would smell it too. He grabbed some deodrant and sprayed heeps of it all over his body and his jacket before he was satisfied and hurried out of his room and down the stairs.

Roman was about to sprint straight through the narrow hallway and towards the door when he heard a shrill and small cough from the kitchen behind him, stopping him in his tracks with a screech from his shoes on the linolium. Roman hunched his shoulders a little and cringed. He spun around, plastering a forced smile on his face and looking up at his mom who was at the kitchen table with a coffee and a crossword. A stern frown on her face.

"Heyyyyyyyy...Mom. Can't chat, im a little late, gotta go!" Roman rushed out the last of the sentence and started to turn back towards the front door.

"Roman Christopher James. You get your ass in here right now." His mom retorted, her voice eerily calm as Roman let it sink in that he was about to be lectured by the one woman he had never wanted to hurt or dissapoint.

Roman's shoulders dropped in defeat and he trudged back down the hallway towards the kitchen and sat in front of his mom at the table. Roman's face was covered in a thin layer of guilt and his mom could practically smell the regret on your face. Yet, she still had to tellhim, because if she didnt.. who the hell would?

"Roman.. you were out last night. All night. I told you, specifically, not to go out.." She begun expaining. Roman perked up, immediatly on the defensive and trying his damndest to smooth out the situation and make it better.

"I know, mom! But, my friend asked to me to go, and i really couldn't say n-" Rroman tried to rush out his explanation but his mother smoothly interupted. 

"Jessy. Was home alone, Ro. On her own! Anything could have happened!" the more that his mother ecplained why he was in the wrong, the more Roman felt the guilt building up and burning in his throat, and the tears behind his eye lids that he wouldn't let come out.

"Ever since.. your dad.. Ro, youre supposed to be the man of the house. The protector for your sister and me. I trusted you to look after her and you went out to meet friends. You can always say no, Roman, it isnt going to kill you."

Roman rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyes and willed the droplets to stay behind his pupils as he listened, quietly, to his mom. She was right, after all. He was supposed to be the man. Roman wouldnt ever be able to live with himself if anything happened to his mom.. or Jessy. Sure, she annoyed the hell out of him, but... he loved her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I promise you that it wont happen again. Ill be the man from now on, you can count on me." A second passed before Roman said in a slightly meeker voice.  
"I'm not gonna be like dad..." He confirmed. More to himself than his mom, as he stood up from the table.

His mom let him get halfway back down the hallway before she called out, in a little more of a light tone of voice.  
"Oh, and honey? I don't mind the drugs but if you're going to do it, please, at least be safe."

Roman assured her that he would and ran out to his truck, mentally kicking himself as he felt the gravel underneath his shoes. Of course she would have found out, cant hide anything from that woman. Roman tossed his bag into the truck and hopped in the drivers seat before speeding (but not actually speeding, road safety kids.) to he school or parking lot.

Roman, thankfully, made it to school by the middle of the second lesson, earlier than he thought he would be. Pushing the metal doors open and walking inside, Roman could hear the echo of the soft padding of his shoes as he quickly walked through the halls. He would be lying if he said that the empty halls and old flickering lights didnt spook him a little as he made his way to his second lesson. As a teen who's every second in this school was spent surrounded by people, the empty hall was a solemn comfort to the lonely footballer, but he knew it wouldnt last. Roman entered the class and all eyes were on him, and thats how it stayed as he sat at his desk and leaned back in his char, his head still blaring through the hangover. 

Roman rifled through his bag for his books and inwardly cursed when he realised that, in his rush, he had forgotten all of his equipment. Pens, pencils, rulers, the works. Roman let his bag fall in a heep on the floor and folded his arms on the desk in front of him, resting his head on top of them and revelling in the momentary silence and darkness.

"..psst..hey.." A voice whispered from beside him but Roman didnt move. Didnt want to, not today. The person cleared their throat, not aggresively or to get Romans attention, but to make their voice sound clearer and less nervous. 

"Hey, um, Roman?" The voice asked a litle louder from his left hand side and Roman lifted his head in annoyance and whipped it to the side. He was about to ask, quite aggresively, what the hell this person wanted when it was clear that Roman wasnt in the mood for a conversation right now.

All agression died from his throat when he saw Virgil's wide eyes, with his arm outstretched to Romans table holding a pen and a pencil in his grip. Roman's eyes tracked up to Virgil's face. The smaller teen was clearly unsure as to whether offering this to Roman was a good idea right now, but still somehow mustered the courage to offer anyway. Virgil's pale face seemed a little darker today, with more obviously caked on make up and it didnt take a detective to notice the way that he was slightly hunched over and clutching his stomach with his right arm while holding out the stationary with his left. Roman was going to kill Dean and his goons one day, he was sure of that. He felt his heart rate speed up a little more as he stared at the baren wasteland of Virgil's empty eyes that seemed to have at least, a glimmer of hope in them.

Virgil's arm had been outstretched for more than ten seconds now, and it was clear that the quieter teen was getting more and more anxious as the time ticked on. Roman sat up properly and coughed a couple of times, rolling his shoulders and cracking his back as he felt himself slowly coming into a better mood. He reached his arm over to Virgil's and ggratefully took the pen and pencil from his grasp, holding his hand there longer than he probably needed to before retracting it quickly back to his table. Virgil brought his hand to his face to hide the light pink growing in his cheeks as he saw the blush form on Romans, now equally pink cheeks.

"I... um..thanks? How did you know i needed these though?" Roman whispered back across the table, hiding his face with his hands to block the fact that he was actually talking to Virgil because, God knows what would happen if anyone caught wind of this interaction. He was genuinely grateful for Virgil's help but also genuinely confused as to how he could know that he needed help in the first place. 

"Well, you needed a sharperner the other day. And, well, today you kinda looked a little pissed when you looked around in your bag so i assumed that you left it at home. Not like i was watching you or anything! I mean, everyone was!" Virgil begun stumbling over his words and Roman felt a smirk grow a little on his face as he watched how quickly Virgil became flustered.

"Hey, Virgil. It's no big deal." Roman assured and Virgil smiled. It was a small smile and it shocked the quiet teen, but Roman caught it. Virgil doesn't even know why he smiled. Maybe it was because of the interaction in general, maybe it was because he had never heard anyone in this school call him anything other than Virgil. Maybe he just liked the way that his name floated out of Roman's mouth. Either way, this moment was one for the history books. First time Virgil had smiled in a long time.

The rest of the clss went on without a hitch. Roman and Virgil occasionally glanced over to each other and immediately looked away when they saw the other looking, both with blushes spread across their cheeks. Roman knew that in about half an hour, he would be kicking himself for even talking to Virgil and having the possibility to be seen as gay, but for now he wanted to stay in this little moment where it felt like there was only himself and Virgil in the whole world.

Lunch came too fast in Roman's opinion and the call begun enhusiastically running out. Roman turned to offer Virgil's stationary back to him but the smaller teen shook his head and told him that he could keep it. The pen and pencil were spare and it isn't like Virgil needed them, with the other tons of spares he had. Roman thanked him again and rushed out a small goodbye before running off to the locker room for lunch practice, that he had started partaking in as the team got closer to their mid-year game.

When Roman finally managed to get to the locker rooms after pushing through the sweaty lunch crowds, all of the team had already gotten changed and were on the field doing laps. All aside from Oliver. Roman rushed over to his locker in the top right corner of the room and threw his bag into it. He pulled out his game clothing pretty quickly and began laying them out on the bench. Roman heard shuffling as he whipped his shirt off, turning to see an equally shirtless Oliver at the locker beside him, clearly having a conversation starter in mind when Roman just wanted to change quickly. As quick as he could, so that he could take out all of his aggression towards his co captain and all of his feelings for Virgil on the football pitch.

"Hey, Oli. What have i missed?" Roman asked with a sigh as he pulled his football jersey over his head, not missing Oliver's wandering eyes towards his midsection before the shirt was fully pulled over his stomach. He was too tired to deal with it, and let it go.

"Hey, Ro! You didn't miss much this morning. Dean said you were a pussy for sleeping in and for being hit so hard with the hangover and all, but i dont think that!" Oliver exclaimed, way too brightly considering it was only lunch, as he rested his foot against the locker and leaned against the cold blue metal.

"Of course, he did." Roman deadpanned, not knowing how to really keep the conversation going and simply focused on the whole getting changed and getting to practice. Coach was probably already pissed at him. 

"You know," Oliver begun, standing up properly and facing Roman, still not having put on his football jersey.  
"You don't have to hide anything around me. I'm not like Dean and the other guys. I dont care what you do with your personal life."

Roman was now fully clothed in his football attire, which was good, because Oliver had now caught his entire attention and Roman wanted to know exactly where this conversation was going. Roman turned to face head on with Oliver, realising now that he had been caught in a corner and Oliver was blocking the way past and out to the field.

"Um.. I dont know what you're talking about, Oli." Roman fired back, defensivey, packing his clothes into a ball and throwing them in his locker and closing it with a small slam.

"Hey, Roman. Don't worry. It's okay if you're gay, yknow. I mean, I've seen that youre not comfy around guys and that sometimes you look at guys with a little twinkle in your eyes and hey! That's okay with me!" Oliver assured, shrugging his shoulders and smiling wide at the slightly taller teen who looked perplexed until it clicked.

Roman felt all of his limbs seize up and his breath stopped for a quiet moment before he made himself relax and chuckle awkwardly. He needed to seem unaffected. He was unaffected. He needed this to go away like a bad dream, quickly and preferably without pain, because he definitely, wasn't gay.

"Look, Oliver. I don't know what the fuck youre talking about. You cant just go around saying shit like that man. Anyone could be listening and noone would like it. I gotta.. get to the field" Roman chuckled again, stifly through his teeth before barging past Olivers smaller frame and towards the locker room doors that lead out to the fields. Before Roman made it out to the door, Oliver called out to him again.

"Hey! Honestly, its okay, Roman! I'm gay, too!..." 

The next few seconds seemed to go in slow motion for Roman as he turned slowly towards Oliver. Behind Roman, from the direction of the field, a few figures led by Dean barged through the doors laughing and jeering just in time to hear the last three words slip out of Oliver's mouth. All of the light slowly drained from Oliver's eyes, replaced by the sick sight of fear welling up in his face and Roman could hear the gulp in Olivers thorat as the team slowly made their way towards him. Oliver mumbled, stuttering over small excuses that did nothing and soft, whispered pleas.

"You...what?" Dean asked, maliciously. His tongue slipping around his mouth like a tiger that had just caught it's prey. Roman attmepted to mutter out something along the lines of 'Oliver is one of us.' but it was already too late.

Dean had already hitched back his arm and shot his fist into Oliver's face like a shotgun blast.

Fuck


	9. One of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Oliver gets bashed for being gay and Virgil sees.  
SAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING  
ohhh boyyy. Theres some physical violence in this chapter because of someones sexuality and a lot of homophobic language and swearing   
so  
yeah.

Roman felt the little pieces of hair on the back of his neck stand staight up when he saw the look in Oliver's turn from cheery and welcoming, to striken with fear and already lightly watering. Pleas falling out of the side of his mouth as he stared straight past Roman's shoulder. He had heard the door behind him opening and closing but only turned to face the team when Dean's malicious tone broke the tense silence in the room.

"You... what?"

Roman whipped around and tried his damned hardest to put his body between Dean and Oliver's already shaking form, knowing what was coming, but Dean's eyes were filled with a sickly rage as he pushed Roman aside. Dean invaded Oliver's space much like a lion intimidates an antolope, the locker behind Oliver clattering as his back hit the metal. Oliver held his hands up in a defensive position as he focused his pleading eyes on Dean, practically praying for him to forget the last thing he said and go back to how they were not two minutes ago.

"C'mon, Dean, man. He's one of us!" Roman yelled over the jeers and laughted of the other teens in the small room, grabbing onto Dean's shoulder and trying to drag him away. Dean struggled out of Roman's grip and grunted, he spun around to face Roman and seethed,

"I am not a goddamned faggot, Roman! And we dont allow fucking queers on this team or in this locker room!"

Roman couldn't get out an adequate response before Dean turned back to Olivers quivering form and punched him suare in the jaw, seemingly releasing all of his anger onto the poor smaller teen. His fist impacted into Oliver's cheekbone and the smaller teens knees wobled a little underneath his weight. Oliver deperately grasped onto the lapels of Dean's varisty jacket but was immediatly pushed off and fell to the floor in a heap of defenseless limbs. 

Roman felt his eyes filling up with tears of frustration and helplessness as the other boys crowded around Dean and Oliver, cheering and yelling insults and Roman couldn't watch.  
"Dean, fuck dude, that's enough." Roman tried once more as Dean kicked Oliver in the stomach yet again, the young teen coughing and sputtering in pain.

Dean turned away from his target and for the first time, for a single moment, Roman thought he saw an ounce of regret in his co-captains eyes. It dissapeared as soon as it came and Roman chalked it up to false hope. Roman felt a little bit of fear rise in his heart as Dean walked across the locker room towards him but didn't let it show. He puffed up his chest and stared into Deans eyes with every ounce of bravery he could muster.

"Roman. You telling me you're one of him? You a queer? huh?" Dean asked, smirking and subtly cracking his knuckles, very obviously unfased about taking on anyone at this moment. This is the moment that Roman had been fearing for quite a while because Dean, though he was a neaderthal, was quite a bit larger than Roman and could easily destroy him. Roman was 95% sure that he was sraight, but even that tiny margin of error was enough for him to be exiled and executed, so Roman shook his head. HE tried to chuckle in this situation but it came out a little choked.

"No? So why would you want him to be one of us? You gonna stand by and let him stare at your dick while you change? He needs to be taught that its fucking gross, Broman, you gonna teach him?"

Roman felt like his was going to be sick. Oliver had just begun to stand up, leaning all of his weight on the lockers as he tried to catch his breath. Roman couldnt breath in this room and around these people, these absolute wastes of oxygen. He couldnt feel the tips of his fingers and tried to clench his fists to get back circulation, feeling Dean glaring at him. He couldn't say no. He had to do as Dean wished because, if he didn't, Roman would be in the exact same position as Oliver is right now. Back against a locker and the whole town against him. 

Roman's eyes locked with Olivers swollen and purple iris's and he shook his head to keep back the tears, the airplane chain dangling against his hyperventalating chest and clinking quietly. Oliver smiled weakly in understanding, not pleading anymore and seemingly accepting his fate. Roman, once he was sure nobody was watching, mouthed the words 'sorry, Oli' to the smaller teen. Then, on shaky legs, Roman walked with Dean back over to Oliver and stood beside the person that he hated, swallowing the thick sick hin his throat and feeling like he was on the wrong side of the battlefield. He had to detatch himself from the situation and feel nothing. It's what needed to be done.

"Fucking fairy." Roman gritted out and delivered a swift punch to the side of Olivers face, the tam cheering around him like he had scored the closing goal of the game.

\----------------------------------

Virgil tapped his pencil against the side of his wooden dest as his English teacher droned on and on about the fact that Romeo and Juliet being together was socially acceptable at the time despite the age difference. Virgil was trying his best to care, honestly, but he just didn't. The desk beside him had been empty for most of the lesson and Virgil kind of loved the extra space and the fact that he was less boxed in, in the middle of the classroom. But, of course, his peace didnt last as, half way through the ramblings of the teacher, Roman shuffled in looking tired and aggrivated.

Virgil looked away as Roman came and sat down at the desk beside him, trying his best not to stare and avoid looking like a creep, but he couldnt deny he was a little excited that Roman was here. Virgil glanced at the teen when he heard rustling and thumping as Roman let his bag fall to the floor and hide his head in his arms on the table in frustration. Virgil quickly scanned the room for any dissaproving looks , but miraculously, everyone was enthralled in the teachers monologue. He delved his hands into his tattered purple pencil case and took out a bunch of pens and pencils. Virgil looked through each one of them carefully, picking out his sharpest pencil and best quality pen before turning his head back to where Roman was still collapsed on the desk.

"Psst.. hey.." Virgil whispered, not too sure as to whether Roman had fallen asleep or not but thought it was maybe worth it to atleast try. Virgil saw Roman shuffle a little, so he knew he wasn't asleep, but he didnt lift his head and Virgil began to wonder what he was even doing this for.

"Hey, um, Roman..?" Virgil mumbled, a little ouder this time because, well, he was already this far in. Why not ruin the possibility of being friends even more?

Roman finally looked up, a little faster and angrier than Virgil had expected, and turned to see Virgil wide eyed beside him. Virgil held his hand out cautiously, holding the pencil and pen in his hand and holding his breath as Roman stared at him blankly. Virgil's hand shook a little and he slowly began losing the bravery that he had originally had and was about to pull away. He sighed in relief a little when Roman sat up and cleared his throat, cracking his back and reaching out towards Virgil's hand.

Virgil felt his shoulders relax as Roman's fingers grazed across his own, lingering for maybe for a little too long before pulling away quickly. Virgil felt a blush creep onto his face and made sure to look away fast, hiding his face in the hood of his jacket. Luckily for him, his english teacher allowed him to wear his armor in this class because he was well above straight A's.

"I...um, thanks? How did you know i needed these, though?" Virgil heard Roman whisper and looked around, peaking out from under his purple hood. Virgil could practically feel Roman's hesitance radiating from his nervous eyes as the two looked at each other from their desks. The smaller teen was quite content in this little bubble they had made for themselves in this moment and was quite pleasently suprised that Roman was even attempting to talk to him. 

"Well, you needed a sharperner the other day. And, well, today you kinda looked a little pissed when you looked around in your bag so i assumed you left it at home."  
Fuck. Virgil felt himself becoming flustered as he saw Roman cock an eyebrow at him in suprise and questioning.  
"Not like i was watching you or anything! I mean, i was, but, everyone was!"

Virgil saw Roman's smirk and wanted the ground to swallow him throug the cement and the dirt into the firiest pits of hell.

"Hey, Virgil. It's no big deal." Roman assured, and instead of looking away and running, Virgil actually smiled. He was shocked to the core when Virgil felt his lips curl up into a small smile. It's just that his name sounded so sweet coming out of Roman's mouth, like a blanket of warmth and security. Virgil hadn't smiled in so long.

Virgil stayed in that soft and warm enviroment of smiling subtly at Roman and hearing the jock chuckle at how stupidly Virgil was acting. Virgil couldn't help but notice the tiny little bit of fear in the back of Roman's eyes each time that the footballer dared to look at the smaller teen, and it made Virgil feel a little sad for him. Sure, Virgil had a hard life, but he was never scared of who he was talking to ruining his social status becuase, well, he didn't have one. Virgil had an inane ability to see fear in the smallest movements and read people really well and right now, Roman was sending out a lot of nervous energy.

When the bell rang out for lunch at the end of class, breaking Virgils comfy bubble, Roman turned to him and offered his equipment back for him with a 'thanks'. Virgil thought about it and concluded that Roman needed them more than him (even though they were the best he had) and shook his head, telling roman to keep them. Which he did, thanking Virgil and heading off to lunch. 

Speaking of lunch, Virgil realised he had nothing to do. He didn't really like to eat at school and he certainly didnt want to go outisde or into a large crowd with all of the extra make up that he was wearing on his face. He usually stayed in the library but it was under renovations for the week so that was ruled out as well. Subconciously, Virgil felt his feet following Roman out of the room and towards the locker rooms, staying as far back as he could. Virgil fiddled with the strings on his hoodie as he kept his eyes on Roman's bright red jacket. 

Halfway down the hall, Virgil was far too focused on Roman to pay attention to his surroundings and accidentally ran into a figure of a similar hight. Virgil was going to freak out about how the person should watch where they were going (even though he wasn't) when he looked down and saw a familiar looking girl in a flowing yellow skirt.

"Oh, hey Mina. Sorry." Virgil mumbled, his tone distracted. He looked past her and into the crowd, sadly not seeing Roman anymore. Virgil brought his focus back to Mina's bright face and couldn't find it in him to be angry. 

"You remembered me!" She cheered and Virgil chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and nodding. "Do you want to hang out?" Mina asked, happily, and Virgil was almost tempted to say yes but he apologised, finding an excuse and running off. Trying to forget the look of dissapointment in her eyes as he ran off to the locker rooms hurridly. Unsure of why he was even following the taller teen. What was he expecting? For them to hang out and be the best of friends?

Virgil begun to feel stupid about this pretty quickly, but he was already outside the locker room and he heard a commotion from inside. They say curiosity killed the cat, and Virgil had always lived by that, usually minding his own business. But this involved Roman and so he opened the door just a crack and peered inside.

The team was mostly crowded into one corner of the room and Dean was all up in Roman's face, talking harshly but quietly and Virgil couldn't make out the words that he was saying but the tone made him strangely angry. If Dean raised a fist to Roman, Virgil would have probably risked it all and barged in, getting himself beat up in the process. Luckily for him though, Dean walked back into the crowd of the team and Roman was left standing by himself for a second. Virgil watched intently as Roman clenched and unclenched his fists, obviously weighing the pros and cons of something. 

A couple of the guys moved around a little and Virgil could finally see what all of the commotion was about. One of the team members was on the ground, slowly standing up aginst the lockers as the other boys crowded around. Virgil's initial thought was that there must have been a fight about a girlfried or something but as he looked around, non of the other teens had bruised eyes or busted lips. No. This was an ambush. 

Virgil's eyes were fixed on Roman as he walked toward the smaller team member. Then, Virgil heard something that sounded very familiar. Something that he had heard a thousand times, but something that he had never wanted to hear coming out of Roman's mouth.

"Fucking fairy."

Then the punches started and Virgil let the door fall closed. He stood for a second as the tears welled up in his eyes before running ran down the semi crowded hallway, not caring who he slammed into as he hurried to anywhere that was OUT. He burst out of the front doors of the school and took in deep breaths of musty mid day air. Virgil couldnt keep it all inside and let over the side of the concrete stairs, spilling his guts and throwing up onto the grass beside the stairs. He stumbled down the steps and kept running, not caring that it had only been lunch and there were three more hours of school left, he just needed to get out.

His running came to a stressed pacing as he made his way down the street, tears freely flowing down his red cheeks. Virgil caught a glimpse of a nearby diner and felt that it could be suitable shelter because he could not go back there and he definitely couldnt go home. He walked under the glowing blue neon sign that said 'JOY'S DINER.' and made his way through the glass doors and quickly to the back of the semi-crowded place and into an empty booth.

How could he have been so goddammned stupid? Of course Roman would be the exact same as every single stupid asshole in this town. Pretty eyes and a warm smile didn't mean that he was any nicer than Dean and Virgil should've seen that. He should've known. Virgil looked out of the window just as rain started to pour from the cloudy sky and chuckled miserably at how fitting it was. The young teen ordered a milkshake and stayed in the diner until he saw the sky turn from a dark blue to almost black, not caring about what his dad would say or do when he came home. At this point being knocked out wold be a welcomed rest.

When Virgil did eventually arrive home, his hoodie damp and his eyeshadow smeared across his face from crying, of course his dad was waiting. At first, Virgil had kept his eyes on the floor, but his Dad had yelled at him to "Look at me, you little brat!" and so Virgil had angrily took of his hood and stared him straight in the eyes.

"What? HUH? WHAT?" Virgil shouted, although it came out a little shakier than he had intended. His dad was taken back for a second before he begun his lecture on how if he wasn't at school, he needed to be home. Of course, his dad had given him a few punches for insubordination and disrespect when his dad did so much for him. It was a bad night for his bones but an even worse day for his mind so Virgil didn't really care.

When the young teen woke up the next morning, crumpled on the floor next to the stairs in the same clothes from last night, his body screamed in pain but his mind was ringing in clarity and the new found sureness that..

He couldn't trust one goddamned person in this town. Not one.


	10. Study Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan study together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its taken so long for me to update this and this chapters really rough cause I haven't checked through it. Enjoy it maybe?

Patton entered his third lesson of the day with a pip in his step, his energy still buzzing from making new friends during break. Considering that it had only been a week since Patton had arrived at Astra High, he was proud of how many friends he had actually made. Patton had always prided himself in being a people person, always the first to make the most friends, but in this town, it had been a little harder than usual. Speaking of friends, Patton turned in his chair once he had sat down and waved at Logan gleefully, who was sat in the row behind him. Logan blushed a little and cleared his throat, raising his had and waving stiffly in response. Patton chuckled and turned back to the front, picking up his pen and copying down the equations on the board.   
A half hour went by quite fast, and the middle aged teacher shuffled to the front of the room and raised his hand, signalling for the students to pay attention. Few listened to the poor man, but Mr Tenor continued nontheless.   
"Now, kids. The class is almost up but i have the results of last weeks test and i'm going to be bringing them around. Please stay seated and please.. please stay quiet." A few kids jeered while Patton's eyes stayed planted nervously on the teachers face.   
Mr Tenor slowly marched around the classroom from table to table, handing out the marked papers and mumbling words of both encouragement and discontempt. Approaching Logan's table, Mr Tenors mouth curled into a smile as he placed the teens test on the desk, chuckling.   
"You know, Logan, the day you get anything other than top grades, is the day that i lose hope in the entire education system." Logan smiled back and thanked him, picking up his paper and studying it while Mr Tenor moved onto the next student.   
Patton felt his palms become a little sweaty as Mr Tenor shuffled towards his desk, but the smile remained on his face. Mr Tenor smiled back but his eyes were filled with pity as he handed Patton his slightly folded paper back.   
"Thanks, Mr Tenor. The next will be better." Patton promised as he stared down at the little red 'C' circled in the top corner. He ignored the snickers and snide comments from the kids around him calling him a 'teachers pet' and kept his head high.   
Logan had tried to mind his own business, he really had, but Patton just exuded so much positive energy. It was so hard to ignore him, or tear his eyes away, even for a second. Logan's eyebrows furrowed as he saw the look of happiness on Patton's face contrasted with the 'C' on his test. If Logan had gotten a 'C' he would've been devastated, but it seemed that Patton was happy that he had even passed at all. Ignoring his confusion, Logan began packing up his equipment as the bell rang out over his head. Making his way through the isles of desks, Logan stopped beside Patton's, clearing his throat a little and trying his best to give Patton a warm and supportive smile. He knew he probably looked manic.   
"Oh, hey buddy! Just gimme a sec." Patton said with a smile as he pushed out his chair and picked up his backpack. The two teens walked side by side out of the door with the rest of the chatting crowd and slowly down the hall. Patton was the only person that Logan was willing to be late to class for.   
"So.. I.. uh, saw you got a low grade on that maths test.." Logan stumbled over his words as he stared into Patton's glimmering blue eyes and he almost didn't want to suggest what he was about to suggest, afraid of making a fool out of himself. Logan being one to never (well hardly ever) hold anything back, he suggested it anyways.  
"You know i could help you with that.. like if you want that is."  
"That would be awesome! I'm not too good with numbers." Patton replied happily as they reached the end of the corridor and were about to part ways to get to their individual classes.   
"Okay, when do you want me to be at your place?" Logan asked, both of the teens stood in the middle of the hallway as students filed around them, some grumbling and others simply not noticing at all. Patton turned to him and chuckled heartily.  
"What do you mean? You've already met my parents, it's my turn to meet your folks! We should do it at your place!" Patton stated, already excitement bubbling in his eyes at the prospect of being close enough friends with a new person to actually meet their parents.  
Logan felt his stomach drop. Sure, he knew that Patton was accepting of gay people, hell, he was gay himself. It's just that, Logan was beyond protective of his wonderful mothers and didn't want anything at all to be said that could be offensive and that could ruin his image of Patton. He was sure that wouldn't happen but... was he ready?  
"I..I don't know, Patton. I think it would be easier-"  
"C'mon, L! It'll be fun! I cant wait to meet the people that created you!" Patton pleaded, his hands held together in front of him and his bouncy brown curls falling over his glasses covered eyes. His freckles were particularly prominent in the shitty lighting of the school hallway and Logan had no chance. Non at all. He had fallen under the spell of the prettiest guy in the school and of course.. of course they could study at Logan's house.  
The two parted ways after arranging times and hurried off to their classes, at least 5 minutes later than they usually should be.  
\-------------  
Logan frantically straightened the books on his bookshelf and the stationary on his desk. He fixed the covers on his bed and wasn't satisfied until the bed looked like nobody had slept in it in the last 18 year. Logan knew that he shouldn't be worried, that Patton would be perfectly fine with the room and wouldn't judge him for anything, but there could be something wrong and Logan couldn't help but panic. A lot.  
Kelly knocked on Logan's slightly opened door when she noticed that the young boy was panicking and practically whizzing around his room.  
"Honey, what's wrong?" She asked, leaning against the door frame with a warm cup of coffee held in her two hands.  
"Oh, hey mom." Logan stopped his cleaning and ordering momentarily to give his mom a side glance and a smile.  
"I need to talk to you guys, a friend is coming over for some tutoring tonight and i need mom to be calm about it and at least a tiny bit social."  
"Cynthia, sweetheart!" Kelly called and Logan's other mother hurried down the hall, a loose tie around her neck and her glasses slightly fogged.  
"You know I've just finished work, love, what's going on?"  
"Logan is going to have a friend over.." Kelly whispered suggestively and Cynthia eyed her son suspiciously as he finally came to a halt and stood in front of his two parents.  
"He's a study partner, mom. Be nice, please?"  
\----  
"I'm glad that you and Logan are beginning to be better friends, and he's helping you study too! That boy is a good egg." Steven, Patton's dad, conversed as they drove down the roads on the way to the address Logan had given Patton earlier.   
Patton hung his head slightly out of the rolled down window and smiled brightly as the wind rushed through his curly hair. Steven looked over to him, expecting him to continue the conversation and chuckled slightly at the sight of his son hanging his head out of the window like a dog.  
"You like this guy?" Steven asked, turning down the radio slightly, his tone bordering on serious.  
"Yeah dad, Logan's really nice. I'm really glad he's my first best friend in this school."  
Steven pulled the car down Logan's street and stopped in front of the last house on the left. Not too big but definitely not tiny and Patton hurriedly got out of the car with a huge grin on his face.  
"Hey, buddy! Hold on a sec! Call me later when you want a pick up okay?" Steven asked, happy that his son was happy but still slightly concerned for his safety.  
"Of course! Love you dad!" Patton yelled before heading up to Logan's front door hearing his dads car grumble and drive away. The front door opened slightly, still on the chain and a middle aged woman peeped through the crack in the door. Patton immediately knew that this was Logan's mom, simply from the way that she dressed and her facial features and Patton smiled wide and welcoming.  
"Hi! My names Patton! I'm here to study with your son, Logan?" There was a moment of silence before the door closed in Patton's face. Patton's smile faltered and his stomach dropped until he heard the rattling of the chain and the door opened fully.  
"My name is Cynthia... It's nice to meet you." Cynthia replied flatly as she stepped out of the way and allowed Patton to slip inside the house. Patton immediately took off his shoes and shuffled his way into the kitchen and glanced around, seeing a preppier looking woman cleaning some dishes.  
"Oh, hi darling! You must be Patton! Id shake your hand but mine are real wet and soapy right now." Kelly said happily as she wiggled her soap covered fingers and laughed slightly and Patton didn't think he'd ever heard a prettier laugh.  
There was a moment of confusion from Patton as he looked around for a father for him to greet. Patton spied family pictures on the walls and it all clicked into place.. these were Logan's moms! Patton's smile immediately widened, knowing he would be fully accepted in this house made him feel instantly more comfortable.  
Patton's heard footsteps coming down the stairs hurriedly and then felt a hand grab his arm. Not aggressively, simply holding on.   
"Okay, mom's this is Patton. Patton, these are my moms. We're going to go upstairs now." Patton was about to say something more before he felt Logan tug on his arm and then the two turned and left the kitchen, rushing up the stairs and into Logan's bedroom.  
Patton smiled at the fact that this bedroom was very obviously Logan's. The wallpaper was a dark blue with subtle stars along the walls. His bookshelves were neat and alphabetized with not a single book out of place. His bedroom had dark colours and sharp edges and it was so obviously Logan's room that it made Patton so unbelievably happy.   
The two studied for the rest of the day. Patton's hand occasionally brushed Logan's when they were reaching for a pencil and Patton chuckled and went straight back to writing, not noticing the searing blush along Logan's cheeks. By the end of the day, Logan's heart was beating at 12 times its normal rate and he knew the exact amount of freckles on Patton's face. He only hoped he'd helped Patton enough and hadn't been too obviously distracted the entire time.  
Cynthia offered to drive Patton home and Patton knew that it would be rude to refuse so he agreed, calling his dad and letting him know before hugging Logan and leaving with his mom. Logan may have squeezed a little tight and held on a little long.. despite being a germaphobe.  
\-----  
"I apologise, Patton. I believe i may have been a little cold during your stay." Cynthia stated, her eyes never leaving the road and her hands gripping the steering wheel slightly too tight. Patton looked over at her deadpan face and smiled supportively, knowing she must have only been distant out of concern for her son.  
"You see.. Logan had a friend before you who would come around almost every evening. Hell, he was practically part of the family. Logan was absolutely smitten." Cynthia explained, seemingly becoming more relaxed as she spoke to Patton. It was clear that she had held this in and it was bothering her that she hadn't said anything.  
"His name was Taylor and Logan told us that they were in love. That was until...Taylor found new friends. Friends that weren't as sweet as you and these friends knew.. they knew how much Logan loved Taylor and they destroyed him with it. They wouldn't leave him alone, everyday, they made fun of him constantly. We had to move him to a new school after a while." Cynthia concluded her explanation just as they were turning onto Patton's street. Patton's smile had gone and he was no longer jovial. Thinking of something like that happening to Logan made Patton feel something that he never thought he'd be able to feel... Anger.  
"I promise, Cynthia, I will not be like Taylor. I'll be good to your son. You can count on that." Patton's promised, his tone eerily cold and calm. Cynthia smiled at him and pulled up to Patton's smaller house, waving goodbye as Patton felt the cold night air on the back of his arms.  
Why anyone would hurt Logan like that, Patton would never know. But what confused Patton more was.. why did he feel so much more protective for Logan than he usually would with his friends? Patton shook it off and entered his house, ready to sleep after a long day.


	11. Breaking point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monday after the locker room business and Roman trying to be better.
> 
> sorry its been so long since I last updated. Life is heck

Roman groggily looked up into his bathroom mirror as warm soapy water ran over his still slightly bruised knuckles. He glared at his reflection before turning off the water and stalking back to his bedroom, dragging his feet along the carpet. It was a Monday morning and Roman had woken up horribly early, still sick with rage and uncomfortable with the time he had spent with Dean and the team during the weekend. Why hadn't he just stood up for Oliver? Why did he have to be such a coward?

Roman sat stiffly on his bed and picked up his phone, scrolling through the messages he had sent to Oliver on Saturday night. While he was sat with the team, getting drunk and high, a spot where Oliver was usually sat was empty. After the guilt had built up and almost destroyed him, Roman had attempted to message the smaller teen.

From Ro @ 2:20AM --- I'm so sorry, Oli.

From Ro @ 2:33AM --- You don't have to forgive me. It was fucked up I know but you have to understand that I had to do it.

From Ro @ 3:04AM --- I didn't have to do it. That was a lie.

From Ro @ 3:06AM --- I could have done more. If I could go back..I would.

From Ro @ 5:00AM --- ...You're braver than me, Oli.

Oliver hadn't answered a single one. Why should he? Roman knew for a fact that he didn't deserve forgiveness, he just needed Oliver to know. Shaking his head, Roman stood up and was about to put his phone away when it rang, Dean's name lighting up the screen. Roman answered.

"What?" Roman asked, his tone flat as he wrestled to put his bag over his shoulder.

"Woah woah woah, Broman. Hostile much? Don't get your panties in a twist." Dean laughed over the crackling speakers. Wind blew on the other end and Roman could barely hear what Dean was saying.

"What do you want..bro?" Roman asked again, gritting through his teeth as he tried his best to sound friendly.

"A ride. Your dads truck is beat up and it kinda sucks but it beats taking the bus with the losers." Dean explained, occasionally pausing to smoke.

"No." Roman stated, matter-of-factly, before realising how he was acting and how dangerous it was to go against Dean. After what had happened to Oliver...  
"I mean...I can't. I don't have enough gas to get to your house before school."

"Fuck. Okay. Whatever, man." Dean groaned, hanging up quickly before Roman could say anything else.

Roman shoved his phone in his pocket as he jumped into the drivers seat of his fathers truck. He tapped the front dash affectionately as he turned the key, he hated this truck, but he hated Dean more. Dean had no right to insult the only thing he had left of his dad, and then expect a ride. Roman didn't touch the stereo as he pulled out of the street in silence.

Traffic was a little on the difficult side this morning but Roman had still managed to make it on time to his first lesson, keeping his head down and focused on his books, gripping his pen tighter whenever he felt peoples eyes on him. Rumors travel fast at Astra High and it didn't take long for Dean to start bragging about how Oliver wasn't part of the football team anymore and exactly why. Sordid details included. Most of the school agreed with what Dean had done, purely out of fear, but Roman could feel the judgement in peoples glares and it made his stomach sink.

Roman paid little to no attention on what was being taught in his first two lessons of the day. He spent those hours sat, fiddling with his airplane necklace and berating himself in his head. He knew his mom would be disappointed in him if she found out. Hell, not just disappointed, she'd be downright pissed. For good reason. He could hear her voice in his head, cold and distant, "I raised a good man. You're just like your father." Roman hated making his mom angry or upset, she had done everything for him and his sister and he had no right to take advantage of her love like this. Roman promised himself that he would tell her later, before she found out from anyone else.

Usually, Roman would greet the silence happily as he walked through the corridors of the school during break. Grateful that Dean and the team was nowhere to be found and he could have a moment of peace. But this moment of was anything other than Peaceful and Roman found himself walking closer to the lockers, his shoulder brushing against the metal as he tried his best to avoid every person he saw. Roman could feel the guilt wrapping around him like a snake and constricting his lungs until he could barely breathe.

Then.. he locked eyes with Oliver and his friends. The friends that Oliver would hang out with if the team was busy doing other things. The friends that probably knew about him being gay but loved him anyway. Roman would do anything for a group of friends like that, loving and accepting. Right now, however, their gaze looked murderous and Roman had to move, he had to leave, had to go somewhere before they pounced. Had to get away from Oliver's eyes that were brimming with betrayal.

Roman stumbled backwards into an empty classroom and closed the door, leaning his back against the paint chipped wood and closing his eyes. Willing away the tears that threatened to spill. He wasn't weak. This isn't running. He just needed to catch his breath. Roman stayed still for a moment, collecting his thoughts and trying to stop his hands from shaking before looking up and surveying the classroom.

In the far corner, shaded by darkness, was a student who Roman didn't entirely recognise at first. He shuffled a little closer to the figure and immediately stopped in his tracks when he realised who it was. The student was obviously trying to pretend that Roman wasn't there and was staring intently as the doodles in his book, his hood up over his face.

"Virgil?...Are you okay?" Roman asked quietly, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket. He didn't dare raise his voice, afraid that Virgil would up and run away, like a scared rabbit. Virgil's eyes stayed focused on his book, but his hand gripped his pencil tighter, his fingers turning white with the pressure.

"Fuck off." Virgil gritted through his teeth, crossing his feet under the desk.

"What?" Roman asked, a little taken aback by Virgil's standoffishness when Roman was just trying to help. Virgil looked up at him for the first time from under his hood, his hair partially blocking his eyes but Roman could see the anger in them. Anger and... fear.

"Oh.. you heard.." Roman stated, dropping his arms to his side in defeat and getting ready to turn and leave.

"I didn't hear, Roman. I saw." Virgil replied, his voice calm and cold, only wavering slightly.  
"Not like I give a shit or anything, but that was a seriously fucked up thing to do." He whispered, turning in his chair and standing up, his head still facing the floor and his hood still covering his face.

"I had to.." Roman said, almost pleading, even though he could hear the lie in his own voice. He wanted, no, he needed Virgil to understand. This isn't something that he wanted to do.

"No! You didn't!" Virgil yelled, looking up and locking eyes with Roman. The taller teen couldn't help the flinch when Virgil raised his voice, not expecting it. Romans eyes were welling up with tears and Virgil couldn't see any anger or hatred in them, but he continued anyway.  
"You didn't have to, Roman. But, yknow, like I said, I don't give a shit."

"Could you at least let me explain? It was me or him, Virgil.. Being on the receiving end of Dean isn't fun. You of all people should know that." Roman tried to explain, attempting to defend himself but not even believing himself when he said it.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." Virgil replied, looking away again. Roman took a second to actually look at Virgil, and no amount of make-up could cover up what he saw. Both of Virgil's eyes were swollen and bruised, his lip cut and his cheekbones practically purple. Roman felt sick.

"Virgil...I'm so sorry." Roman whispered, sniffling a little to keep the tears at bay. He couldn't look Virgil in the eyes and so he found a particularly interesting crack in the floor to stare at. This was the first time, in his entire life at this school, that Roman had actually said what he wanted to say.. and it felt like gravel coming out of his throat.

"What...?" Virgil asked, surprised by the honest tone in Romans voice. He could hear the sincerity of Romans apology and it seriously caught him off guard.

"For letting Dean do all the shit he does, I hate it. I had hoped that me and you could be friends but this is a really sucky way to start." Roman mumbled, chuckling a little at the absurdity of the situation. Trying to make friends with the person that he had allowed to be bullied since the moment they both entered the school.

"Yeah, no kidding." Virgil replied, no laughter but his tone seemed softer. Like he was finally seeing Roman, insides on the outside and he wanted to keep seeing this version of him.

"Wanna grab a milkshake and actually talk. No..asking to borrow things or..calling me out on my homophobic bullshit. Just.. talking?" Roman asked, looking back up at Virgil and wiping his eyes. Standing taller and trying to act as though he hadn't said the things he had.

"Joys diner, after school. Back booth by the window." Virgil replied, short and fast before rushing out of the classroom.

Virgil was already gone and Roman was alone but the teen still whispered 'okay' in the empty classroom, mostly to himself.

Virgil couldn't concentrate on his next two lessons. He was too focused on the idea that Roman.. THE Roman James, had just asked him if he wanted to have milkshakes together. Virgil knew, logically, that it was stupid. This was a dangerous thing to fall into, especially with Roman. Usually his guard would have been all the way up. Usually he would have just said no and told Roman to fuck off, but Virgil couldn't stop thinking about the side of Roman that he had seen. The Roman inside his letterman jacket, without Dean, without his team... just Roman.

Virgil walked out of his fourth class and headed to his tree to do some thinking. He had been sat down for maybe a second or two on the slightly damp grass when he heard the familiar jeers and laughter coming towards him. Virgil stood up immediately, knowing that if he was already on the ground they would have the advantage. With his back against the old, sturdy tree, Virgil prepared for whatever was going to come as the team reached the top of the hill.

"Well, well, is this where you spend all your lunches? All alone under a tree? That's fucking pathetic." Dean laughed, a chorus of chuckles following from the team behind him. Virgil noticed that Oliver wasn't amongst the crowd anymore and remembering what he saw, the small teen felt a glimmer of bravery strike him. 

"Better than being with a bunch of dickheads like you." He retorted, staring down dean with a mixture of disgust and anger in his eyes. Dean was only 3 paces away from Virgil and it took less that a second for Dean to pin the smaller boy to the tree, holding his arms in a vice like grip. Virgil's head hit the tree quite hard but that didn't stop him from glaring up at Dean, throwing all caution to the wind.

"What are you going to do, Dean? Kiss me?" Virgil taunted, making kissing motions and Dean staggered back a little, letting go of Virgil's arms before reeling back and punching him. Hard. Right in the nose. Virgil's head snapped to the side and blood began to slowly pour from his nostrils but it was nothing that he hadn't felt before. Dean kept throwing punches and at some point, Virgil fell to the ground but he didn't cry. Not this time. This particular beating was seemingly lasting longer than the other ones and Virgil was about a second away from falling unconscious when he heard a voice over the yelling and laughing.

"Hey! Dean! Get the fuck of him man!"

Bodies were moved out of the way and a light his Virgil's face for a second before it was obscured by a shadowy figure that he couldn't make out. The figure shoved Dean a little and yelled about getting in trouble with the coach and ruining the season for the rest of the team. Dean seemed angry at first and shoved back but the shadow stood his ground and Dean and the rest of the team headed back down the hill.

Virgil's eyesight slowly came back and the first thing he saw was the red and white of the football jacket and Virgil immediately tried to shuffle away but a hand touched his shoulder and Romans voice cut through the haze.  
"Hey, hey, Virgil. Its me. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. I'm taking you to the nurse." He stated, hauling Virgil up to his feet and letting the smaller teen lean on him.

Roman may or may not have gotten stares all the way to the nurses office. Some of them judging and cold. 'What the fuck? Why are you helping him?' stares. Whereas, others seemed to be stares of admiration, people thinking that, maybe Roman isn't that bad after all.

Roman got Virgil to the nurses office and handed him over to the care of the lovely old woman that recognised Virgil on sight and promised to take good care of him. Commending Roman for bringing him to her. The last thing that Virgil heard Roman say before the taller teen turned and stormed away was,

"I'm gonna fucking kill him."


	12. Authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lil update

Hey, I'd firstly like to say, thank you to everybody for reading! I really appreciate all of you.  
Unfortunately I've been going through a lot recently and ive lost a lot of motivation to continue this story. I know eventually one day I will, but for now i think this story will be going on break.  
I know i left it on a little bit of a cliff hanger with Roman finally getting angry enough to maybe confront Dean, and trust me, its going to be spicy when it happens.  
I hope you all understand and I will be back eventually, this story is NOT over.

To be continued

-Al


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